Spice Girls, The Musical

The literal happiest feeling I’ve had all week, perhaps all year, just swept over me as the Justin Bieber of the 90s (but in female…and times five) has become relevant again in Hollywood, if only for just another brief 35 seconds of fame in a country that isn’t America, therefore doesn’t matter. The Spice Girls went back to the infamous London hotel which was the scene of their terrible slash awesome music video sixteen years ago. “Wannabe” seemed to be (inappropriately) the soundtrack to my life in the third grade as I played it every single day after school with my neighbor until I had the lyrics (which I didn’t understand) and choreography memorized. And I will say, the 90s goddesses hardly look like the pregnant, cigarette-smoking, lollipop-licking, bathrobe-wearing burn-outs they feared becoming in Spice World. Scary Spice looks less scary, and even Dykey Spice Sporty Spice managed to take her hair down and look gorge. I wouldn’t have been mad if anyone forced me to be her now (not that that ever happened. I was always Posh).

The reason for the reunion? Judy Craymer, creator of “Mama Mia,” is at it again, putting together a new musical using solely the songs of the musical sluts whose music I should have never been allowed to listen to geniuses I grew up adoring in a show called “Viva Forever” (which is not even close to their best song, but I’ll let it slide). The plot is something ridiculous about four girls in a band trying to make sure they can maintain their friendships after entering a talent contest. My guess is, some big falling out occurs as a brief encounter with fame makes them lose sight of who they really are, but all is restored when they remember friendship conquers all. It debuts this fall in London, and while it sounds like a terrible and totally cliche story, I’m praying on my Spice Girl dolls tonight that it makes its way to the US where I will see it, and love it.

I’m going to go whip out my Playstation 1 and play “If You Can’t Dance” for several hours to celebrate this momentous occasion. Girl Power.

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Veronica Ruckh

Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at

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