The night begins like any other. You do your hair and makeup…
Pick out an outfit…
And take pictures.
And after some serious pre-gaming, you’re off.
And it’s not long before you notice your girl is drunk.
Which is all good and fine until she sees her not boyfriend and she’s all.
And after he seems appalled by her antics, you pray she’ll realize.
But of course, she takes the rejection to mean he’s not getting her message.
In an embarrassing display, she tries to seduce him.
Some may say she’s begging at this point, but you’ve got to give it to her, home girl is persistent.
You try to pull her away, but she’s on a mission.
When eventually, she realizes she’s not getting laid tonight, she goes from bartering with him straight to anger.
And so you decide that maybe it’s best she go home….She doesn’t seem to like that, either.
And when you try to reason with her, she only gets nastier.
And then you have to get real with her.
“HOW DO YOU EVEN KNOW THIS GUY?”
And finally, she breaks.
The whooooole walk home, she’s just like…
Kindly, you listen, knowing you’ll have your payback in the morning.
And you do. When she finally emerges from her room at noon, she’s all…
So you tell her exactly what a pain in the ass she was, naturally making her feel like…
She goes through some self-loathing.
Then comes her thinly veiled attempt at an apology.
She comes to accept that she’s basically just an asshole. Whatever.
So you forgive her. You make up.
Because frankly, you know it will probably be you tomorrow night..