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Singles Buy Out Movie Theaters So Couples Can’t Sit Together

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“You can’t sit with us!” – the Chinese singles

A group of Shanghai singles bought every odd-numbered seat for a Valentine’s Day showing of Beijing Love Story. You know who’s more tired of Valentine’s Day than we are? China. Not only are they renting boyfriends (http://totalsororitymove.com/rent-a-boyfriend-this-valentines-day/) but they’re forcing couples to join them in Single City. Good thinking–if you’re worried about being #foreveralone, you might as well make sure everyone else is, too.

They’re not subtweeting anybody, they’re clear about their mission: “Want to see a movie on Valentine’s Day? Sorry, you’ll have to sit separately. Absence makes the heart grow fonder,” reads a message from the organizer. Sounds like a lot of couples will be going on accidental blind dates this Valentine’s Day. If you’re convinced your eyes are going to get stuck from all the eye-rolling you’re doing today, pour one out tonight in honor of this epic prank.

Oddly enough, seeing a movie is technically something that can easily be done alone. After all, you’re not supposed to be chatting (or making out) during the movie. The other day, I went with a man friend to see one, and the only seats left were loner ones. We balked, but why would seeing a movie sitting by yourself be the weirdest? I think it’s time for these couples to embrace their independence. China’s been salty lately because of their dramatic gender imbalance–there’s an estimated 34 million extra dudes. So, ladies, if you’re worried about being single today (and forever) have I got the trip of a lifetime for you!

If you’re not already jealous of all the romantic espionage happening in China, you should be. They instituted a Singles Day on Nov. 11, which I think we should all celebrate. 11/11 is the best time to make a wish, so why not wish for a boyfriend? They chose that date because 11/11 looks like bare branches, which is what bachelors are called (sounds better than “leftover women,” their female equivalent). Couples get a special day, so singles should get their own day to profess their love… for Netflix, caffeine, and vodka. If you’re tired of smug couples sharing their love for each other on social media, while the only man you’re sharing your love for is Jack Daniels, take a shot tonight in honor of China.

[via World Time]

Image via Upward Downward

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Fleur de Lilly

Fleur de Lilly (@margaretabrams) is a contributing writer for Total Sorority Move and Post Grad Problems. When she's not corrupting her big's baby, she can be found decoding texts, gravitating towards raised surfaces, and spending time with her gentleman caller, Jack Daniels. She loves Lilly, Louisiana, and her lineage.

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