Science Says Being Sober Will Ruin Your Relationship

staying sober will ruin your relationship

Being sober sucks, amirite? Nothing is fun, everyone is annoying, and no good story ever started during a juice cleanse. It’s hard to remember the last time any male interaction started sober, and as it turns out, you’re not being the degenerative your mom thinks you are. You are planning for the future. The Journal of Gerontology B: Psychology Sciences recently came out with a study that focused on the correlation between drinking and marriage satisfaction.

After polling 2,767 couples that had been married for an average of 33 years, researchers found that more than half of the partners got drunk together and ultimately reported feeling more content in their relationships.

Two-thirds of the participants were in their first marriage and all of the spouses were asked to assess how demanding, critical, and irritating they found their significant others.

This is excellent news for all of us who don’t make contact with boys outside of the confines of a party or bar. Dr. Birdett did add a disclaimer to the results saying that, “We’re not suggesting that people should drink more or change the way they drink,​” but I’m pretty sure he just had to say that for PR reasons. I’m going to choose to ignore the fact that sober couples also did well and the only problem was incompatible drinking patterns, and carry on with the rest of my life with the notion that being sober is ruining my life. It’s science.

[via First We Feast]

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Ali Hin

A born and raised Jersey girl, she can always be found covered in sand and pizza sauce. Her personal brand is "that girl." She prefers wine in bottles because she thinks outside of the box. Send fan mail to or by smoke signal.

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