Rihanna’s Diary Once She Realized Drake Is A Fuckboy

Rihanna's Diary Once She Realized Drake Is A Fuckboy

January 11, 2017
Dear Diary,

I can’t believe this didn’t work, work, work, work, work. I thought Drake was da one for me, we did find love in a hopeless place after-all. I was still reeling over my split with Chris, how could this have happened to me? One rude boy after the next, smh. Will I ever learn? Drake said he neeee-eee-eeee-eeeeded me. At first, I wanted him to stay, until he started pulling all the bullshit with these other girls. What am I supposed to do with all these bomb ass singles we dropped together? Bitch better have my money when I ask him for my cut. Can’t believe it man, remember when he gushed about me at the VMAs? He made me feel like I was the only girl in the world…. What a great performance, take a bow, D.

First we have this skinny white bitch, Taylor Swift, who everyone knows has no business being with a man from the 6 like Drake. Me and that girl are going to have some serious bad blood now. Even in my wildest dreams, I didn’t think this girl would cause so much trouble. The only blank space that girl deserves is next to her relationship status on Facebook. How does this lil’ girl pull so much dick? I guess she has her own style, but damn, isn’t she only like 22? It’s safe to say after this rendezvous, we are never getting back together.

Then we have my mother, JLo. What a sneaky little bitch. I mean damn, Jenny from the block took my papi. I can just imagine that dynamic though. Drake’s a lil’ punk ass. She probably cook for him. Clean for him. Do his laundry. JLo ain’t his mama, but she sure act like it. She is old enough to be, so I guess that’s none of my business. Ain’t that funny though, JLo was my go-to girl when Drake and I were having problems. Jenny used to tell me, “I’m Real, Riri, you can trust me with anything.” I know you real, JLo, a real sneaky old bitch. It’s a good thing that her love don’t cost a thing cuz Drake spends all his money on keeping his name in the headlines.

I guess I should look at the positives of this breakup. It only took me one dance to know Drake wasn’t that great in bed. I don’t need that fake love, you know? I’m way too good for him. He took my love for granted, I just don’t understand it. He was always on his worst behavior, riding through the 6 with his woes all sneakily and whatnot. I feel bad for these other women, going from girl to girl, back to back. I hope they ready for the ride, it goes from 0 to 100, real quick. It’s so over. Take care, Dizzy. You ol’ fuckboy lookin’ ass.

Best you ever had,

Image via Debby Wong | Shutterstock

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