Rhode Island Coast Hates Taylor Swift

Taylor Swift is running amuck in Rhode Island and residents are pissed. Swift recently purchased a 17.7 million dollar home on the public beach in Watch Hill and is confused as to why people keep coming onto her property. Here’s the answer: because you’re Taylor Swift on a public beach. Swift has taken it upon herself to fight back and has unleashed a slew of security to slink around the property and make onlookers feel uncomfortable.

Due to the property’s location, there are people who are trying to catch a glimpse of the singer and for some reason she doesn’t understand why us common peasants would want to look at her, so she is putting up a wall. Not just any wall, mind you, but a rock wall like she’s a character from Game of Thrones. The project is massive and includes moving giant boulders from the ocean to create a stone barrier between her and us common folk, and  the people of Watch Hill are not happy about all of the commotion taking place in a public location. David Collins, a reporter for took it upon himself to look into this nuisance and discovered nothing but a mess as rocky as Swift’s love life. It is rumored that by the time the project is completed, millions of dollars will have been spent. Millions on a goddamn wall? Oh, Taylor, you’re not that important.

Not only is her house creating a monstrosity of an eyesore to the coast, but the people of the community are pissed off that Swift’s ego is ruining the aesthetics of the beach. A surfer in the community spoke to Collins and mentioned that the changes to the bottom of the ocean will affect the quality of the surf on the beach. Forget about global warming, Taylor is a bigger detriment to the Earth than mother nature. With no knowledge to how large the project will actually turn out to be, this debacle looks like it may go on for quite some time and it doesn’t look like it will let up anytime soon. We’re now doomed to have some upbeat, ocean-related breakup song to hear on repeat for the next four months until our ears bleed.

[via The Day]

Image via Associated Press


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Babe Lincoln

Babe Lincoln (@Babe__Lincoln) is a contributing writer for Total Sorority Move and spends the majority of her time knocking back Franzia and introducing herself as "the female Johnny Manziel."

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