Let me humble brag reallllllll quick: my boyfriend’s mom is awesome. She’s funny and sweet and nurturing and is, like, kind of perfect. But I know that’s not the norm. While I’ve weirdly always been #blessed with guys from good families who have semi-sane mothers, I realize the majority of girlfriends out there have not. Unfortunately for a lot of you, the man you love is likely the spawn of some sort of she-devil whose sole goal in life is to get you the eff out of the picture.
After browsing the internet for a bit yesterday, I stumbled across a funny Huffington Post article about the worst things mothers-in-law have ever said, and it got me wondering: are moms saying stuff like this to girls who are merely dating their sons? So, I asked you ladies to email me the worst thing your boyfriend’s mom has ever said to you. Unfortunately, after sifting through the responses, I came to the sad conclusion that, yes, moms don’t care if you’re married or if you’re just sleeping together. The majority of mamas do not want another woman in their little boy’s life…and they will stop at nothing to get their way.
- “When I told my ex’s mom I wanted to be a social worker, she literally said, “Well that’s pretty silly. You can help way more people if you get a job where you’ll make real money.” The fun part? She’s a fucking church preschool teacher.”
- “My boyfriend’s mom told me she got pregnant on the pill, so her son needs to ‘double wrap.’ “
- “My ex-boyfriend’s mom told his little brother not to let his grades slip or he might end up at the University of Delaware, which is my alma mater.”
- “My ex-boyfriend’s parents constantly spoke German whenever I visited them. I don’t speak German.”
- “The first time she met me, my skirt was so short that she could basically see my vagina. She assumed I was ‘kind of a slut.’ “
- “My ex’s mom (who has six children and is currently pregnant with a seventh) commented on the fact that I don’t have child-bearing hips. Like, okay, thanks for calling me skinny. But she said it in a disappointing tone, like there’s no way I could carry her grandchildren with my measly, tiny hips.”
- “The first time I met my boyfriend’s mom, she told me: ‘If you need anything, the water bowl is right there,’ and pointed to their family dog’s bowl.”
- “One time when she was dropping me off at my house, she made a comment about how she didn’t understand how people could stand to live in such small houses. (My boyfriend’s family is loaded and mine is average.)”
- “The first time I ever met my ex’s mom, she asked for an extensive women’s health background to ensure that I could have children in a timely manner–including asking when my most recent cycle was and how regular they were. I was 20 years old.”
- “You rode the school bus to school? (This was after she criticized my mom for being a working mother.)”
- “Two years into our relationship, his mom brought me into her BEDROOM before Thanksgiving and told me that her son didn’t need another woman in his life besides her.”
- “The most awkward moment with my ex’s mom was when she told me she regretted saying “I do” five minutes after the wedding, and then she said she had to wait 20 years to get a divorce until the kids moved out. That was an awkward conversation.” .
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