There are few cardinal rules of college that you just can’t break. Among the more obvious are not getting arrested, not hooking up with a friend’s ex, and not causing irreparable damage to your favorite frat’s house. But there is one rule that is held to the highest standard: never, under any circumstances, are you to show up to a party alone.
Enter: your best friend. The girl who sticks with you through thick and thin, through pre-games and post-games, and through the tears and the drunchies. Dramatic, occasionally belligerent, totally pampered, and self-centered, the two of you are inseparable when you hit the town. Remind you of any other famous duo? As it would turn out, we now have definitive proof that Kim Kardashian and North West are actually just you and your intoxicated BFF.
Pro-tip: never, ever drink before doing your makeup. Worst case scenario, you end up losing an eye to an aggressive mascara wand. Best case scenario, your contour ends up looking like this. While one friend will look as flawless as Kim herself before leaving the house, the other friend is doomed to have a makeup fiasco induced by one too many glasses of wine.
Once the aforementioned flawless friend fixes Ms. Moscato’s makeup, it’s finally time to roll out. And by that, I mean you will be dragging your friend’s drunk ass through the door and down the streets. Kim, seen here, has the right idea: make sure the slightly incoherent friend is wearing flat shoes. Risk management, am I right?
Not long after leaving the party, your friend’s primitive instincts will kick in, and soon she’ll be demanding Taco Bell and McDonald’s. North West has a head start on the drunchies habit – and luckily she has a devoted mom to make sure she doesn’t get that chicken all over her cute outfit. And just like any toddler, I’m sure that there will be tears and tantrums involved on you and your besties fast-food run.
End of the night:
As the night comes to a close, your tolerance plummets. Maybe you call a cab and send your friend on her merry way, or perhaps you even let her go home with that guy she met while waiting for her burrito. Whatever it is, you have simply given the fuck up. Kim Kardashian, too, has lost every single shit she could give about North at this stage in the game. Luckily, North West will be able to recover from her minor tumble. The same can’t be said about your friend’s dignity.
One of the best parts of a wild night is checking the drunk Snapchats while enjoying a hungover brunch. And if you think you are a drunken diva who goes batshit crazy on the camera, wait until you see North West. Bonus points if you manage to fall out of your bed mid-mental breakdown.
There you have it, ladies. If you’ve been dreaming of the days when you’d live the same lifestyle as Kim, it’s time to wake up, because you already are. Minus the private makeup artist, limo, and designer clothing, of course. And Kanye. .
[via Hollywood Life]