Prince Harry Deployed to Afghanistan

Despite all of his scandalous activity, it’s important to remember that Prince Harry is a qualified Apache pilot in the British military.

He’s a man who loves to rage and loves his country. He’d probably be the frattiest of all if only he were American.

Anyway, just a few short weeks after his wild naked night in Sin City, Prince Harry has been deployed to Afghanistan for a four month combat tour. I think this is the royal equivalent of being sent to your room and grounded for a week after you get caught with alcohol in high school.

The palace officials want us all to rest assured it is pure coincidence that Harry’s abrupt departure for duty has nothing to do with his most recent scandal. I’m pretty sure the timing could not have been more obvious if they sent him straight from Las Vegas to the desert.

Either way, I think this is a great opportunity to send some care packages and hope that he’ll just decide to forfeit his rights to the throne and move back to America full time so he and I can legitimately date.

It also explains why he hasn’t texted me back.


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