For everyone there’s that one person. The one who they never forgot. The one who they always think about, no matter how much time has passed. The one who turned them from a child to an adult, someone innocent into someone ~experienced~.
The person we lost our virginities is pretty freaking important. But for a lot of us, it just didn’t work out. We were young. We were dumb. He cheated on your with that slutty girl from chorus and broke your heart into a million pieces. Whatever it was, it ended. Sad. The people on reddit fessed up to say what happened to their first, because let’s be real, we all throw them a Facebook stalk every now and again.
- “She was a horse girl so I never really checked on her.”
According to the comments, horse girls are just rich cat ladies. So, that answers that?
- “She is now my stepsister. We met in high school and started dating, my dad and her mom were single. They started talking and then they did something more than talking. We broke up, they got married. Family holidays are not awkward. Actually my wife and her get along quite well. Yes I think about a threesome sometimes.”
Yeah, nothing screams “family holiday” like thinking about having a threesome with your wife and your stepsister.
- “He started to wear a lot of corduroy pants with suspenders, stopped shaving, and carry his trash around with him. He’s not homeless, just studying environmental sciences.”
You say environmental science major, I say hipster.
- “She married a different high school sweetheart, they went on to college, got degrees, bankin serious dough, three kids as well, I follow her on facebook. Glad she’s doin’ well.”
It’s like “The Notebook” from the other side.
- “He was ran over by a bread truck at 4 a.m. in October 2012. They didn’t release the funeral details until after the funeral.”
I know you say you want your ex dead. But apparently they can actually die. Wish with caution.
- “She is my best friend now. No sex and no weird awkwardness. It’s great.”
Friends with benefits, minus the benefits, still equals friends? Who knew?
- “She got a Melanoma. The cancer spread to her Lymphatic system and she died when she was 25. It was fucking brutal.”
Sunscreen guys. I hate to say it but it’s a thing.
- “Wifed her up.”
- “I have been with my (1st and only) girlfriend for almost a decade now (I’m now thirty-one). We are getting married soon. I not sure I know if I fully love [her]. I don’t really have anything to compare [it] to. Almost feels like an arranged marriage. Sometimes it makes me feel a little hollow. Definitely feel that I am missing out. How would it be with others? It hurts and is confusing that I don’t know. I wouldn’t describe her as hot, but she is incredibly beautiful and elegant. She puts up with my idiosyncrasies and has her shit together. I miss her when I don’t see her. When meeting new women, (getting past the initial excitement) I realize there is no one I have met that I would prefer. But is that laziness in not wanting to imagine the challenges of a relationship with someone else? I think I do love her but being a human is hard sometimes. I’m not unhappy, is that enough?”
- “She’s a lesbian now. I like to think I did such a good job, I scared her off cock for life.”
I can assure you, sir, that is not what happened.
- “The girl I lost my virginity to is also a lesbian now. My friends and I get a kick out of it because I’m gay too.”
Birds of a feather fuck together.
- “Mine turned out to be asexual. So I turned her off people for life.”
This is what happens after years of fuckboys. THIS is what happens.
- “He got back together with his girlfriend after realising he didn’t actually like me that much, they’re still together I think. He works somewhere in my city.”
- “It’s been eight years and she still texts me sometimes. Really weird stuff out of the blue like ‘we need more paper towels’ and ‘this month’s gas bill just came through the post.’ Just really odd things like that from time to time.”
So they lived happily ever after. Cool.
- “She became an individual who cheats on everyone she dates.”
Calling all fuckgirls.
- “He has a child with the beautiful girl that came after me. I don’t know anything else, but I hope they’re happy. He’s a great guy, he deserves it.”
Not crying not crying not crying.
- “I’ll tell you once I meet them.”
- “Right next to me…still after eight years. Thinking of humping him.”
BRB, stalking my ex forever..