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Pause. This Sex Toy Can Get You Pregnant

Pause. This Sex Toy Can Get You Pregnant

I think we know each other pretty well by now, and if we don’t? Hi, I’m Veronica.

Now that we’re acquainted, I’m just going to come out and say something. I’m a big fan of masturbating. I don’t just mean because I like to do it, I just mean that on principle, I think it’s a really good thing for people, and I think they should get on the self-pleasure board. It’s intimate. It’s calming. It feels good. And it’s just a good way to know your own body. They say you can’t really love someone until you love yourself, but I say, you can’t really fuck someone until you fuck yourself, ya know?

Of course, nothing beats the real thing. Except something that looks like the same thing and vibrates, but blah blah blah, the weight of a man on top of you is nice too. Plus, we need men for procreation. OR DO WE?

Sex Toy Gets You Pregnant

This is dildo. But it’s not an ordinary dildo! For starters, there’s no smiley face beneath the mushroom cap. Seriously, most of them have a smiley face, because they need to pretend it’s not a sex toy when the children in Indonesia are making them. Swear. Go look at yours now. Secondly, this dildo ejaculates — real semen!

Semenette, as it’s called, was created by Stephanie Berman when she wanted to get her wife pregnant, but the turkey baster wasn’t getting either of them hot and heavy. She used the technology of a turkey baster and the romance of a plastic penis, and Semenette was born.

You’ve just got to go to the ol’ sperm bank, fill ‘er up, and get jiggy with yourself, and you can have a baby on your own, and making it will be just as fun as God intended it to be.

[via Refinery 29]

Image via Shutterstock

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Veronica Ruckh

Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at veronica@grandex.co

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