Just in case you needed further proof that Florida is the weirdest place ever, a pantsless woman was caught on camera stealing Franzia. I understand. Girlfriend probably thought she was in my apartment, where drinking cheap wine, pantsless, is the norm. Unfortunately, people aren’t as accepting in the real world.
Somehow, the woman escaped. If Florida’s most famous wino is found, she’ll face at least one count of retail theft. Unfortunately, Shaggy’s impenetrable defense, “it wasn’t me” will only work if this woman disguises herself in a pair of pants. You would think a thief would go for the good stuff–the fancy, expensive wine, which requires sniffing and swirling–but this lady knows that sometimes, you just need a Franzia fix. I like her style. I’m beyond down for the no pants party she’s throwing. Girl, if you read this, call me and we can slap the bag. I just hope the wine was worth the squeeze.
[via The Gloss]