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Not Another Column About “The Hookup Culture”

Not Another Column About Hookup Culture

We are Generation Y: Millennials, 18 to 20-somethings, the demographic cohort following the wild Generation X, and the children of the Baby Boomers. We’re also playfully dubbed as “the hookup culture.” Awesome, right? We’re known for getting laid? That’s pretty cool. But let’s take a moment to understand what this means. Despite the fact that we are the generation that watched a terrorist attack happen on live television when we were in grade school, and that we have been a part of the biggest technological advances of mankind, and that we are the generation that could find the cure for cancer, learn body acceptance, and strive for human equality, we are still best known for the fact that we, as a generation, have “meaningless sex.”

You see it everywhere. Every other column online is devoted to “why the hookup culture is destroying our generation and life as the world knows it,” or “why the hookup culture is awesome and empowering and haters can just go on hating and denying themselves orgasms.” Really? Holy shit, is anyone else as sick of reading articles about this as I am?

Is the most important thing we have to talk about really whether or not we have a significant other or if we’re doing the whole #ForeverAlone bullshit? There are more important things happening, like the new season of basically every great show in existence, the fact that I still don’t know what I’m going to be for Halloween, and the invention of sour cream and cheddar chips.

It’s not that I’m pro-hookups or anti-monogamy. I’m just tired of the idea that there is a right or wrong “relationship” view for our culture, because, excuse me for a second, but I thought I was in the United States of America. You know, the place where people have the right to (basically) do whatever the fuck they want.

What gets me about all these articles isn’t the fact that they are being written. This is the land of the free and the home of leaving mean comments in the comment section of articles–so whatever, write away. What gets me is the fact that we feel the need to demand that there is one way to look at things and one way to lead the generation when it comes to relationships.

Sure, being single and hooking up with anyone whenever you want can be exhilarating, freeing, and liberating. But it can also be dangerous, depressing, and lonely. And yeah, having a relationship can be rewarding, comforting, and revitalizing, but it can also feel limiting and restrictive.

The view of our generation needs to be shifted. We need to stop focusing so much on our sex lives, whether we choose to have sex with one person, many people, or no one, and shift it onto more important things, like fulfilling our dreams, striving to be good people, and having the best damn Halloween costume anyone has ever seen.

So, go fuck. Go fuck whoever you want. Or don’t fuck. Fuck no one or fuck everyone. Just stop declaring that it is the be-all and end-all of our generation and our existence. For a group of people who are working so hard on being “cool” with casual sex, it seems to be a huge topic on our newsfeeds, in our text messages, and through passive aggressive comments.

We are NOT “the hookup culture.” We are not the “bang whoever we want and have casual feelings” culture. We are the “living our own lives” culture. The culture that will redefine beauty. The generation that will view every single person on this world as a person, and not as a series of laws that strips them of their basic human rights. We are the talented, driven, limitless people who will change the world, and not because people think we all need to live a life of meaningless sex or get married at the age of 16. We will change the world, because despite what everyone else thinks, we know the truth. We will change the world because we will understand that every single person has his or her own way to live life. We will understand that there isn’t one “right” and one “wrong.” We will change the world, because we will accept the hard truth that there isn’t one universally true way to live life.

We will change the world because we will love whomever and however the hell we want to love. And we won’t need to justify it.

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Rachel Varina

(yeahokaywhat) Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable.

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