Harry Potter is back, bitches. Hold on to your golden snitch, because you’re about to need an invisibility cloak to hide your excitement. If you’ve dreamed of reuniting with the world of Harry Potter since 2011 (mostly because you want to see how hot Neville Longbottom has gotten), your dreams are about to (almost) come true. While Harry and the gang aren’t officially returning to the big screen, because they’re old and married, therefore boring, J.K. Rowling is developing a new series of films set in the wizarding world.
This new movie series, written by Rowling, will be set 70 years before Harry was born. It’s going to tell the story of the Hogwarts textbook Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. While I’m not a big fan of textbooks because you shell out big bucks, return them for fifty cents, and never actually open them, this is one textbook I’m actually looking forward to. The movie’s going to tell the story of the textbook’s author, Newt Scamander. With a name like that, he’s set to be a winner. If he’s anything like my man Newt Gingrich, this is going to be a real wild time. Personally, I can’t wait for a new set of films, because there are only so many ABC Family Harry Potter marathons a girl can take, and I’ve about reached my limit. While The Hunger Games offered up a nice adventure, and Jennifer Lawrence is a total smokeshow, the Capitol is no Hogwarts. The Harry Potter series remains the highest-grossing film series of all time (to Twilight fans’ disappointment), so the next set of movies should be on fire.
The new movies aren’t going to be a prequel or sequel, but they will be set in the world of wizards and muggles (read: GDIs) that you love. The new story will take place in New York, which is just another excuse to want to live there when you grow up. After all, you could meet your wizarding husband, or you could always try Israel where he already exists.
Rowling was such a big fan of the upcoming lead, Scamander, that she married his grandson, Rolf, off to resident crazypants Luna Lovegood. That was disappointing, because I always hoped she’d end up with Neville. Luna Lovegood Longbottom would make an awesome monogram. Scamander researched the textbook during years of travel across five continents, so I’m excited to see some castle shots to help me pick out a new vacation home. I’m hoping that Dumbledore makes an appearance, since he was hella old. My dream movie would just be two hours of him at a gay club in Chelsea, since it takes place in New York, but Rowling hasn’t asked for my input yet.
The Harry Potter-verse has completely changed real life. I often wish for a Marauder’s Map to
stalk casually run into guys who’ve mysteriously gone MIA. After a bad breakup, it’s totally acceptable to call an ex He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. With a time turner, I would never experience FOMO again. My greatest wish is that a handle of vodka could double as a portkey when I’m particularly wasted and just want to be eating pizza bagels in bed immediately. Rowling created an incredibly magical world, so I have faith that she can create another wildly successful, ridiculously imaginative one full of child stars that won’t pull a Miley.
[via The Independent]
Image via comicvine.com