New Device Won’t Let You Check Your Phone, Forces You To Be Social

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FOMO has hit record highs. At my family fro-yo sesh the other night, there was a point where all of us were sitting together silently–and we actually like each other. You may be confused by couples who insist on spending all their time together, but that doesn’t mean you can imagine spending a second without your beloved iPhone. Even creepy couples are independent sometimes, but you could never abandon your smartphone.

If you are tired of ignoring your friends while spending valuable time with them, The Offline Glass is for you. It’s a glass with space for your iPhone cut out of the bottom. If your phone isn’t lying on the bar, your drink will spill. While there’s no use crying over spilt milk, I can’t say the same for spilt alcohol.

Brazilians have already adopted the glass for beer, and I think this is an innovation America needs desperately. If you’re not spending spring break at the Salve Jorge Bar in São Paulo, you can make your own–everyone knows sorority girls love a good Pinterest project.

I do see some potential struggles. After a few too many drinks, it would be easier than ever to leave your phone at the bar (something I’ve done three times this year already). The drunker you get, the more likely you’ll experience serious spillage. Plus, how will you text your best friend “Should I go home with him?” if your phone is busy protecting your drink? Are you just supposed to ask her in front of your gentleman caller? So not stealth.

This invention could prevent girls everywhere from sending regrettable drunk texts and responding to midnight messages from not-boyfriends. I won’t believe in the power of technology until it’s possible to delete a drunk text forever, but this is a start. There are two things sorority girls love: alcohol and their iPhones. Combining the two is an asset to America.

[via NPR]

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Fleur de Lilly

Fleur de Lilly (@margaretabrams) is a contributing writer for Total Sorority Move and Post Grad Problems. When she's not corrupting her big's baby, she can be found decoding texts, gravitating towards raised surfaces, and spending time with her gentleman caller, Jack Daniels. She loves Lilly, Louisiana, and her lineage.

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