Ladies and betches, our American Space Program is in trouble, and this time, hunky astronauts like Buzz Aldrin, Tom Hanks and Liz Lemon’s fictional husband astronaut Mike Dexter may not be the ones to save us. Nope, step aside boys, because the solution might be as simple as making a crafting run to Michael’s or Hobby Lobby, and every true betch has got pounds of it ready at any given time. The answer is glitter.
Yeah, that’s right. Glitter may save our space program. How?
NASA is building this awesome new telescope called the James Webb Space Telescope, which is scheduled to launch in 2018, and could let us see incredibly far away galaxies and even help us possibly discover new planets. Maybe they can find someone as fierce as me out there, but not bloody likely.
Only problem is this telescope costs $8 billion dollars. That’s a ton of money. That’s also not factoring in how to get something that massive into space; the rocket carrying that telescope is 14,000 pounds. So we need to figure out how to make that cheaper, right?
Well, a scientist at the Rochester Institute of Technology says that the best way to do that is instead of shooting a telescope, which is just a group of giant mirrors into space, they should try taking a bunch of tiny particles that weigh nothing, made of plastic and metal coating that reflect light. Sound familiar? Glitter, bitches.
Basically, they’d take a bunch of glitter, spray it into space, then use lasers to shape it into a mirror. It’s lightweight, cheap, and could have a ton of practical application in the future. While not perfect, scientists say that it can be done. The scientists at RIT already sprayed a bunch of glitter from a local craft store onto a concave surface and used it as a mirror. In a decade or so, there could be a breakthrough.
So, basically, glitter could save the world and create the future that eventually brings us to Star Trek, with Chris Pine flying around in tight uniforms and saving the day. I’m into that. We could also see some practical application of sorority girls in space here, right? So, keep on crafting, because who knows? We could discover a planet. Hopefully one filled with hunky, shirtless aliens..