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My Friend Slept With Her Boyfriend’s Dad And No One Is Talking About It

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This is a very difficult article for me to write, mainly because I hate admitting that anyone could have a crazier sex life than myself. Like, I work hard for that title. But even I have some lines I wouldn’t cross. Like, you know, getting intimate with a boy and his blood relative. Like, okay. Maybe I could fuck a pair of brothers. If it was never serious between either of them, there was an adequate time gap, and then that was the end of it.

But this girl, who I’ll call Shelby, kind of blew that all out of the water. Shelby and I aren’t that great of friends. We run in the same social group and she’s a cool girl with similar interests to me. She landed an a super hot boyfriend almost immediately in freshmen year, so even though she was easy to love, we all naturally hated her.

Then things got, well, strange. After her and hot boytoy, Alex, had been dating for a good while he took her to meet his dad, Steve. Again, I hate the girl because she’s so perfect, but I can’t deny if I was an ex frat boy dad meeting my current frat boy son’s new girlfriend, she’s exactly who I’d hope he’d bring home. She has a perfect skinny but toned body, big boobs for her size, wavy brown hair and shocking blue eyes. She’s the type of girl who can go swimming and you’d be like “Shelby, how did your makeup stay perfect in the water” before you realize that’s just how her bare face actually looks. Bitch.

Steve is your typical fun loving dad. He divorced Alex’s mom a few years ago and has been living the high life ever since. This includes spending his outrageous amount of money on his “girlfriends” that are young enough to be Alex’s sister. Or Alex’s girlfriend.

That’s right, Shelby made the leap from girlfriend to sugar baby. But, more importantly, from son to father. It was practically taboo to talk about it, so everyone just pretended like we didn’t know what was happening. Alex appeared to be fine even though the girl he loved was getting flown across the country to get railed by his dad. Like, her hands have softly cradled the balls in which her ex boyfriend was produced.

This continued for a few months until one day Shelby and Alex showed up to a party together. After they had practically had sex on the dance floor, it became assumed that they were back together. But, once again, no one talked about it.

The dynamic got even weirder as they continued to date for the next two years. He invited her to his family get togethers, she went on their family vacations, etc. Now, call me old fashioned, but I wouldn’t want to bring my partner on vacation with the person they cheated on me with. But then again, I think my mom could stand to be around my guy without offering to buy his affection.

About a year ago Shelby and Alex moved in together (in a house paid for by, you guessed it, good ol’ Steve) and have since gotten a cat and even began discussing life after she graduates and he finishes up his masters. At the end of the day I’m glad they’re happy. I mean, it really is none of my business. Then again, I live for the drama so I hope that they become happy enough that they can tell me what the fuck was going on.

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Blue-eyed-blondie

Blondie excels at being an underachiever. She is currently trying to add an extra year onto her undergrad so she can continue to down $7 bottles of wine in an environment that encourages her erratic behavior. After graduation, she has big plans to flunk out of a prestigious law school. Email her compliments and Netflix suggestions at blue.eyed.blondie.tsm@gmail.com EDIT** if you suggest Black Mirror she's already seen it. So stop suggesting it. Seriously. Please stop suggesting it.

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