My Body Isn’t Ready For The European “Magic Mike”

My Body Isn't Ready For The European "Magic Mike"

If there was one sliver of light in the blackhole of darkness hell that was my 2016, it was me finally giving in and seeing Magic Mike and Magic Mike 2. I hadn’t before because, contrary to the entire female population, I don’t find Channing Tatum to be attractive. But after a lonely night of swiping and sipping, I finally gave in. And boy, was I not disappointed.

So you can imagine how giddy I was this morning to learn that there’s a new version of Magic Mike coming out in 2017, and rumor has it, it’ll be hotter than the original. How so, you ask? Easy, the whole thing will be in Dutch.

The movie is called “Onze Jongens,” which is Dutch for “I don’t know WTF they’re saying in this movie but holy shit I’m sweating already.” All we have to do now is pray to whatever God we have that they bring this baby to the USA. Check out the trailer:

And to all the girls who are as obsessed as I am with the lead actor after watching that: Sorry babe, I’ve already offered him my body in exchange for a green card. Better luck next time.

[via Elite Daily]

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Drunk but not in love

(@DrunkNOTinLove) is a die-hard Splenda addict who requires a constant supply of caffeine and male attention to make it through the day. After graduating with her degree in Economics, she now focuses her energy on adding a "Home" to her degree title by perfecting the "intelligent drunk," and conning a banker into marrying her one day. Originally from New England, she is a hardcore Boston sports fan, but only when boys are around. Almost all of her calories consumed Thursday - Saturday (and the occasional Tuesday) are from $7 bottles of Yellowtail Moscato, and in no way, shape, or form is she fazed by this. All forms of hate mail and date party inquiries can be sent to

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