A semester into my sorority career, I couldn’t be happier with my decision to rush. While these past few months have been a whirlwind of date parties, sisterhood events, and sleepovers, I can honestly say I lost my best friends from home because of it. It’s not like I was initiated and our friendship immediately ended. Instead, I told them I was thinking about going through recruitment once school started, and our friendship took a turn for the worst. From there, it faded away until it eventually died — sort of like that relationship you started the month before you went away to school.
When I told them I wanted to join a sorority, I got a lot of “Why would you want to do that?” and “You? Joining a sorority? Why?” and finally, “Oh my god I’m never hanging out with you again.” All “kidding,” of course, but “kidding” in the sense that there’s some (read: a lot) of underlying truth.
Despite my friends’ lack of support for my decision, I still decided to follow through with recruitment. After three grueling days of blow drying my hair, talking about myself an inconceivable amount, and trying to convince literally hundreds of girls to like me, I was so excited to receive my bid and finally find my home. Of course, I had nobody to tell any of this to, not unless I wanted my friends to keep asking me, “But, why?”
Because, Emily, I’m not exactly enthused to be sitting in our high school friend’s garage watching everyone smoke weed and play beer pong every fucking night, anymore. That’s why.
Your first semester in a sorority you’re kept pretty busy. You go to every sisterhood event, every mixer, you hang out with any sister who asks, ever, because it’s pretty much your obligation now. Oh yeah, and I guess you’re still a student expected to do homework and turn in papers and take tests on top of everything else. That too. I tried my best to keep in touch with my friends from home. I made sure I didn’t talk too much about sorority and I fought the urge to bitch slap them repeatedly every time they asked, “So, do you, like, pay for your friends now?” But it seemed like it didn’t matter how hard I tried or how often we spoke. Every time we saw each other, it was harder and harder to find something to talk about. We grew farther and farther apart until we rarely spoke at all.
It’s not like I went through recruitment and became this completely different person that my high school friends couldn’t get along with. I just found my place in this new, gigantic, terrifying world that is college, and that place was my sorority house. I made new friends. I gained a new love for crafting. I suddenly was able to take shots without a chaser. But I was still the same person. Honestly, probably just a little better and a little happier than I was before. My friends from high school refused to see that.
Of course there’s still the obligatory “Happy Birthday!” Facebook posts, the expected Instagram likes, and the occasional (drunk) “I miss you” texts. So, yeah, me and my best friends from high school essentially went through a breakup. And I guess you could blame it on my sorority. But I choose to believe that my sorority just helped me realize that a friend who can’t be happy that I’m happy, regardless of whether or not that happiness involves more glitter and wine than it did before, isn’t a friend I need to keep around the rest of my life.
Some friends are just meant to be your high school friends. Some friends are just your college friends. Some friends are actually your sisters, and you’ll never get rid of those bitches. .