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Mother Invents Cruel App That Makes It Impossible To Ignore Your Parents’ Texts

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Old people and technology don’t always ever mix well. My mother likes to text me interesting tidbits like, “I just found out that Ke$ha is white!” and “What does ‘motorboating’ mean?” Suffice to say, these messages don’t always warrant or deserve a legitimate response, as I am a very busy person and always have a jam-packed schedule. Netflix isn’t going to watch itself.

A Texas mother named Sharon Standifird recently became fed up with her son, who wouldn’t answer her calls and texts, so she decided to take matters into her own hands. She invented an app that gives kids no choice but to reply to their parents by locking them out until they offer a proper response. It’s called “Ignore No More,” though I think a more fitting name would be “Muahahaha” or “I’m A Shitty Parent.” The app temporarily blocks texting, gaming, picture-taking, and calls to anyone other than your account holder. In short, we’re all fucked.

I get it. It must be frustrating to birth an ungrateful eight-pounder who grows up to resent your authority and completely ignore you. Nonetheless, this app is cruel and mean and I hate the fact that it exists. It’s safe to say that only a truly sadistic parent would buy into the idea. Any normal mother would just deliver an ass whooping and tell you that you’re a disappointment to the family, ultimately leading to a life of self-loathing and trust issues. I think Standifird’s son summed up how we all feel about the idea by saying, “Well, I thought it was a good idea. But for other people, not me.”

Ignore No More costs $1.99 and is currently only available for Androids. Excuse me for a second while I fall to my knees and thank the good Lord for the fact that my mother has an iPhone.

[via ITV]

Image via ITV

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Lucky Jo

Lucky Jo is a former and current TSM writer who likes her men how she likes her coffee: way too hot and unforgivably bitter. She graduated from the University of Missouri in 2016, proving that C's do in fact get degrees. She now spends her days working for a social media marketing agency, hiking with her dachshund, and trying to bring back the scrunchie. Hate mail and goat memes can be sent to lucyjmulvihill@gmail.com.

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