I’ll file this one under “never be getting laid again.”
In a recent display of cluelessness, Eric Cloutier of Laguna Nigel, California sold his wife’s $23,000 ring at a garage sale for $10.00. Not only has he fucked things up for every single girl in America by proving the ROI on diamonds is clearly terrible, but he’s undoubtedly fucked things up with his wife, Racquel.
Apparently, Racquel was in the hospital recovering after giving birth to the couple’s third child (they already had 2-year-old twins at home), when her husband decided to entertain the children by allowing them to pick out a few items to sell in their community garage sale. One of the twins chose a seemingly unimportant watch box, which was later passed on to “a blonde woman” at the garage sale. Little did Eric know, his wife had left her engagement ring in the watch box for safe keeping during the end of her pregnancy.
I literally cannot even. I can’t imagine how heartbroken this poor woman must be. Not only is she dealing with the grueling pain of recovering from childbirth, but she’ll be forced to change diapers and discipline bratty toddler without her wedding ring. That’s fucking terrible. I’ve always maintained that marriage is a compromise: I’m willing to do everything that goes along with marital duties, like hiring a housekeeper and a nanny, and possibly even trying anal (you’re a whore unless you wait until you’re married, after all), as long as I have a huge, shiny, 3 carat reminder as to why I’m doing it all on my left hand.
The couple is hoping that the woman who bought the jewelry box realizes her mistake and brings the ring back, but knowing how people are, I’m pretty sure she’s already had the ring appraised and is either planning to sell it for a mean profit, or wear it while sitting beside a bay window, staring into the moors, indulging in the memories of when she thought someone might actually buy her an engagement ring of her own (Mrs. Havisham, is that you?).
I only hope Mrs. Cloutier can take solace in the fact that her husband fucking owes her, BIG TIME for this mistake and maybe the next time around he’ll pick a ring that looks like it’s properly set.
See, silver linings here, people.
Image via Yahoo