Man Fakes Own Kidnapping to Party, Gets Busted by Wife (Obviously)

Just when I thought guys couldn’t get any stupider, I was proven wrong. We already knew that guys are completely incapable of doing anything we ask – “take out the trash,” “don’t stare at my little’s boobs,” and “be nice to my friends” are all commands that often get ignored. Rogelio Andaverde’s wife gave him one simple request: not to go out with his friends. Not only did Rogelio obviously not comply, but he came up with the dumbest, most ridiculous scheme to go to guys night that I’ve ever heard.

Rogelio apparently took his wife’s request as a challenge, and decided it would be an awesome idea for his friends to dress up as criminals, break in, and kidnap him at gunpoint so he could go out to party. His wife called the police, who of course couldn’t find any evidence of a kidnapping. Rogelio waltzed back into his house, telling his wife that his kidnappers “showed mercy and set him free.” After what I’m assuming was a horrifying interrogation not by the police but by his wife, Rogelio admitted to faking the kidnapping in order to go out and have a few drinks with the bros. Sources say that “[Rogelio] also reportedly said he was afraid of his wife,” so clearly she’s doing a good job of punishing him for his absurd behavior.

The lesson to take away from this? Men never learn. Even when the scenario involves filing a false police report with the risk of being thrown in jail, this man would rather listen to his idiot friends than his woman. Seriously, guys? Women really do know best. Just repeat after me: “Yes dear.” These two little words will save you time, suffering, and apparently potential jail time. Also, when your women are happy, they’re more likely to do things for you like bake for you or finally agree to that thing you want to try in the bedroom. I’m assuming Rogelio’s wife relocated his ass to the couch and has him on a permanent leash. Who’s REALLY the winner here? I’m telling you guys, just say “yes ma’am” and you’ll be surprised what you can actually get away with.

[via Huffington Post ]

Image via Hildalgo County Sheriff’s Office


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RecruitmentChairTSM (@TheRecruitChair) is a contributing writer for Total Sorority Move. This current grad student and ex-sorority girl survives solely on Diet Coke and the tears of the pledges she personally victimized. She's a Monica, a Marnie, a Miranda, and a Regina. Her favorite hobbies include drinking $14 bottles of wine and binge-watching season 2 of Grey's Anatomy until she cries. You can send her annoying e-mails at

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