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Look Like A 10, Fuck Like A 4

Look Like A 10, Fuck Like A 4

Everyone wants to fuck hot people. Correction: everyone *thinks* they want to fuck hot people. They drool over pictures of flat stomachs and muscles in brainless oblivion. In their young, naive minds, hot people equate to hot sex. But unfortunately for these fools, that is not the case. Hot people aren’t good at sex because they don’t have to be. They get to just lay there and look sexy instead of actually be sexy. A hot body is a cop out. The guy who will really blow your back out is the one who feels like he needs to make up for something. He wants to make your eyes roll back in your head so you can’t see what he’s working with. And ladies, that goes two ways. Just because you naturally have the tits of a plastic surgeon’s dreams does not mean to get to lay there and let them bounce around while the guy you tricked into taking you home does all the work. You gotta look like a 10, but fuck like a 4.

It’s impossible to tell if the guy you got your eye on will jackhammer you until he falls asleep or if he will light some candles and really just jam out on that clam. So since you are a strong, independent woman, take matters into your own hands. You are in control of your public perception and your pussy game. By keeping both at the top of your game, it would be nearly impossible for this guy to not be secretly trying to figure out your ring size while you sleep. Men are visual creatures, which is not news to anyone. That’s most of the reason why boobs are such a big hit with them. You are already hot and there’s not reason to change that. When you get ready to go out, do your hair and makeup how you like it and wear an outfit that makes you feel good. The only addition that you need is a twinkle in your eye that says, “oh it’s absolutely going to get weird.”

Your body and your mouth have to blow him away. Are we following the parallelism here?? Give him head that will change his life! Do shit that even Cosmo wouldn’t even dare publishing. No one has to know except for all of his buddies that he is going to tell tomorrow. (That’s good PR for you, trust.) You have to get in the mindset of a 4 while keeping all the confidence of a 10. It keeps you humble. It reminds you that you have something to prove. You are worth the few drinks that he bought you at the bar and then some. You are a dime with a dirty little secret. And that secret is butt stuff. Fuck him like a porn star that’s dying to make it in the big leagues, with determination and dedication in your eyes, and desperation in your heart.

Sure, being hot will get you laid. That’s science. It’s in the textbooks. Darwin said that shit. But to be inspirational for a moment, if I may, it’s not about the number of dicks you take, it’s about the number of breaths you take away. Or something like that. Go forth and fuck, my friends. Fuck feverishly like the fantastic fours that you all are inside.

Image via Shutterstock

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Plain Jane

Just your average sorority girl

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