Lindsay Lohan raised the hopes of ladies everywhere this week when she told Time Out London that she pitched the idea for a third “Mean Girls” to Tina Fey over the summer. Yes, we said third movie, although you probably missed the second one–“Mean Girls 2” was an ABC Family movie in 2011. It was NOT fetch. Anyway, Lindsay even has her own idea of what the characters would be doing now.
Lohan, in London to appear in the play “Speed-the-Plow,” told Time Out London, “‘People really love the movie: how do you top that? I was with Tina Fey (who wrote the original movie) the other day and I said we should do another ‘Mean Girls,’ like an older version where they’re all housewives and they’re all cheating. That would be really funny. I’ll harass Tina to write it.”
While the idea of a sequel that includes the original characters sets our hearts aflutter, we have to ask–cheating housewives? Really? Hasn’t that been done? Instead, we imagine the characters meet up at their tenth North Shore High School reunion and we learn where they are today:
Cady Heron and Aaron Samuels got married on Oct. 3, 2010, after they both graduated from Northwestern with a degree in math. They have a 3-year-old daughter named Sharon (after Ms. Norbury) who is currently just full of word vomit.
Regina George was recruited to play lacrosse at Princeton, where she was pre-law. She attend Harvard’s law school and now practices as the corporate attorney for the Kalteen Bar Company in New York City. She’s been married and divorced three times; oddly enough, even though it was she who cheated, she took each of her former husbands for everything they were worth.
Gretchen Wieners declined to run her father’s Toaster Strudel empire, and is a high school English teacher instead. She is very passionate about teaching her students the moral of the play “Julius Caesar.”
Karen Smith is now a house mom at a sorority in the midwest. She posts a daily weather report on her door for the members, using her boobs as a barometer, and does Fireball shots with the fraternity boys in her apartment.
Janis Ian broke up with Kevin Gnapoor when she went off to art school in New York. She subsequently became a famous fashion designer, designing formal pantsuits for proms for girls who don’t like dresses. She recently bumped into Regina and did indeed develop a big, lesbian crush on her.
Damian married Glen Coco in a same sex marriage ceremony in Vermont, where they own a candy cane factory.
Sharon Norbury coached the mathletes to a national championship in 2006. She was able to quit both her teaching job at North Shore and her bartending gig at PJ Calamity’s after her novel about the cattiness of high school girls, “Queen Bees and Wannabes,” became an international bestseller and was adapted into a movie..