Some people in the world are beautiful. They’re tall and slim and they get to have sex with people like the Hemsworths. And then, there’s the other 99 percent of the population who look like normal people. They have bad hair days and prefer to spend their time eating Flaming Hot Cheetos instead of working out. They know that they’ll never be anyones “fitspiration,” and for the most part, they’re totally fine with that.
So imagine, if you will, being one of those ordinary looking people (read: most of us) and getting invited to perform on stage with Taylor Swift. While part of you feels intimated to stand next to the once-innocent piece of sex walking on mile high legs, you think “how bad could it be?”
Lena Dunham was recently faced with this dilemma, but like you she figured, “whatever.” Unfortunately/hilarious it was worse than she thought. It was worse than any of us thought.
Remember that time I walked a runway with multiple super models and @taylorswift? Nope, me neither, cuz I blacked out. What a beautiful moving joyfest of a show, Tay. It's the third tour I've seen you do and you just keep evolving all wild and free. Being a member of your audience is as inspiring as being your friend.
The height differences. The body language. The costumes. It almost looks like a comedy sketch. While some people would be upset about this, Lena was a fucking boss and made the situation funny. In an interview with Cosmopolitan after her Monday night performance, she said:
…I shan’t be walking that runway again. I was so thrilled to support my friend and so displeased to learn about the truth of my own height. I’ve been feeling pretty tall, feeling pretty sturdy, and it was amazing to me, like, ‘Oh, I’m not tall, I’m chubby.’ It’s different. But I mean, on most days, I feel really great and fine about my body, but I don’t think standing next to, like, three supermodels or so is anything even the most confident woman needs to do. And when I socialize with those women, which I’ve done a little bit, because they’re good friends of Taylor’s, who is a good friend of mine, I don’t feel so strange. But the minute I caught sight of myself in the Jumbotron, I knew something was very wrong.
The best part is, if we replaced ourselves with Lena, it would look the EXACT same. She said that her friends texted her saying that “she was beautiful” but she wasn’t having any of it. It was funny. People like Tay don’t exist in nature. People like us do. So when the two come in contact with each other, it sort of knocks the world off of its axis. As the interview continued, Judd Apatow went on to say that us (the normal people) can’t really compare ourselves to the hot people (like Chris Hemsworth and Taylor Swift) because “they are aliens.”
Lena added that “I wouldn’t even want to have sex with Chris Hemsworth; it would be so confusing and feel like fucking a dog — like the wrong thing to do. Really.” So what does this all mean? Taylor Swift really is smoking hot. Lena Dunham made an embarrassing moment her bitch. And the next time you get tagged in an awkward picture, own it. Sometimes the worst shots make for the best memories, captions, and gives you the chance to reel in the likes. Besides, it would be hard to top this one:
You win, Lena. You win..