Remember only a few short weeks ago, when we were naive enough to think that male rompers were the worst thing to happen to the fashion world? I’m not going to lie, ever since I saw a photo of a frat-bro wearing a Lilly Pulitzer-esque one piece that looks suspiciously like something hanging in my own closet, I’ve been terrified of a guy showing up to a date wearing one of these heinous designs. Worse yet – I’ve been unable to sleep at night thinking of the possibility of showing up in the same outfit as my date, which would inevitably result in me running away, never leaving my house again, and subsequently dying alone.
Well, we were all wrong: male rompers are not the worst male fashion trend of 2017; because lace shorts for men are here to make you wish that your date showed up in one piece.
This image of dad bods stuffed into shorts that look like they belong on the clearance rack of the “Coachella” section in Forever 21 will permanently be burned into my mind. While I’m sure that there hypothetically could be a pair of lace shorts for men that don’t make me shudder, these certainly are not those shorts. I’m not entirely sure whats worse, the bright pastel colours that look like they should only be worn by girls who call every guy they meet “daddy,” or the fact that they’re entirely fucking see through.
While I expected for men to be completely against this trend, and cling to their beloved, ratty sweatpants; the reaction to the original Instagram post of these shorts was surprising. Men inquired about where they could buy their own pair, while wives and girlfriends mused on how hot their significant others would look in these on vacation. Who knows, maybe these will be the 2017 version of the pastel J-Crew shorts that must be a requirement for every guy to own before they join a frat. By your Labour Day fraternity mixer, all signs of Vineyard Vines and shorts with little sailboats on them may be replaced by these see-through atrocities.
Now, I’m all for saying “fuck you” to gender norms, and clothing that is specifically tied to one gender. Anyone should be able to wear what makes them happy, and whatever makes them feel confident and good about themselves. However, there comes a point where we need to collectively realize that some clothing and trends should never be worn, or have even existed in the first place. Don’t believe me? Picture Zac Efron, or your celebrity crush in these shorts. Could they pull them off? I didn’t think so..