Justin Bieber’s New Hairstyle Just Ruined My Life

Justin Bieber's New Hairstyle Just Ruined My Life

Bieber is hot, and if you don’t agree, you’re wrong. Sure, he’s a total douche, and he definitely uses PR stunts to make his lack of direction in life look charming rather than childish. But this doesn’t change the fact that his jawline is perfectly defined and his tattoos practically scream “I’m a bad boy, but I like to snuggle.” He’s downright sexy, and nothing will change that.

Almost nothing, that is. Ruby Rose shared a picture on Instagram yesterday, and it featured Biebs rocking–gulp– a center part.

@johnny me and .. I dunno some up and coming artist … 😂😂

A photo posted by Ruby Rose (@rubyrose) on

Why is this happening to us? Is he so sick of female attention that he had to go and ruin his appearance in an attempt to shake hoards of screaming teenagers away from him? Because that’s never going to happen. They’re still going to love him, but now they’re going to hate themselves for it because if we’re being honest, he kind of looks like like a twelve-year-old girl.

I get that the ’90s are making a comeback. I get that. But does that mean we have to adopt every shitty trend that came with that terrible era? Justin looks like, well, a whole lot of awful things. Here’s just a few things our boy Biebs currently resembles:

  1. Nick Carter circa 1997.
  2. Aaron Carter circa 2000.
  3. My best friend from grade school before she realized she was a lesbian.
  4. Old School Leonardo DiCaprio, but on crack.
  5. A member of a struggling boy band that you might find in a bowling alley or at a bat mitzvah.
  6. Ethan Craft From Lizzie McGuire.

Not trying to overreact, but I’m not okay with what’s happening here. Petition to encourage him to trim his ‘do is currently in the works. I’ll let you all know when it’s ready for signatures.

Image via Jaguar PS /

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Lucky Jo

Lucky Jo is a former and current TSM writer who likes her men how she likes her coffee: way too hot and unforgivably bitter. She graduated from the University of Missouri in 2016, proving that C's do in fact get degrees. She now spends her days working for a social media marketing agency, hiking with her dachshund, and trying to bring back the scrunchie. Hate mail and goat memes can be sent to

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