Joe Simpson is Gay?

I feel as though the Simpson family deserves a reality show, but then I realized that Celebrity Rehab and the Kardashians already exist, and Jessica gave it a go on Newlyweds, so I guess all niches are filled.

But really, this family is a train wreck. First of all, they have two daughters who have no idea how to name their offspring. They have this creepy stage parent scenario, and apparently the dynamic pop songstress-making duo has called it quits. Shortly after the Tina/Joe Simpson divorce was announced, allegations of Joe Simpson being gay spread like wildfire. Of course, the ultra-Christian Texas native has vehemently denied these claims, stating that his supposed love affair with 21 year old male model Bryce Chandler Hill are “simply NOT TRUE.” The fact that he’s highlighted his hair and has taken to wearing skinny jeans with matching sweaters and shoes is not helping him in convincing the world he’s straight.

This actually makes perfect sense. After all, he was the PERFECT stage father. He was the one who pushed Jessica into the industry and took control over her entire career. This used to seem creepy to me, but now, I guess he was just living vicariously through his daughter.

I just don’t understand why it’s taking him so long to realize that if he’s gay, Hollywood is like, the BEST place to come out. It’s basically in style for everyone to be gay now. Plus, I heard Anderson Cooper and his man candy have split recently, so, he could make himself half of a silver fox gay couple situation. Perf.

Either way, Joe Simpson is looking super fierce…I mean, totally fine and well-adjusted after his public divorce.



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