Jessica Simpson Gives Birth, And Her Child Has a Terrible Name

Damn it Jessica.

Last year, she disappointed us all by naming her little girl Maxwell Drew (you know, obviously the most feminine and appropriate name Jessica had in her arsenal. Wait). This year, the singer gave birth to a little boy and named him Ace Knute Johnson.

Alright then.

Carrie Underwood’s rat terrier is also named Ace, which I suppose could be convenient should Jessica need to find a home for the monogrammed newborn sweaters little Ace will most likely outgrow. I always thought calling someone Ace was some sort of boy nickname, not a permanent moniker that goes on a legal document like a birth certificate. As for the middle name, Knute is the name of her fiance, Eric Johnson’s grandfather. It’s a Swedish name, and is pronounced Ka-nute. Doesn’t that just roll off the tongue? Ace Knute? No, it doesn’t.

I’m so sick of everyone giving their children stupid names. At least I hear North is going by Nori these days. I wonder if the two of them will date. Maybe Jessica and Kanye can collaborate on some sort of lullaby album for children with terrible names given by illiterate mothers? Maybe the possibilities are endless for little Ace, but I’m not confident on this.

On the bright side if the child is as stupid as his mother, at least he will only need to learn how to write three letters when learning how to spell his name. So there’s that.

[via Yahoo]

Image via Associated Press


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