Is Drake Dating JLo Or Is He Just A Fuckboy?

The media reacts to photos of celebrities social media the same way I react to photos of boys I like on social media — with no real basis of truth, but still pretty confident that I’m right. Which is exactly why these Drake and J-Lo (lol Dra-Lo!) rumors started. It all started with a snuggly pic posted a few weeks ago.

😍 <——– Lotta those

A photo posted by champagnepapi (@champagnepapi) on

Okay, true. They look a little coupley, but there’s really nothing to be confirmed. It’s just a selfie However, like a jealous not-girlfriend, the media freaked TF out about it. And I get it! If I saw a selfie of the guy I liked with some girl, I’d freak out too. But the media isn’t dating Drake.

Rumors continued to swirl when Rihanna unfollowed JLo on Instagram (scandal!) and then when JLo turned down a NYE appearance to hang out with Drake. But what’s really freaking everyone out is this:

A photo posted by champagnepapi (@champagnepapi) on

Okay, so when you see that photo of your man and some girl, you hurl yourself off a building. It’s a lot. And to make matters worse, JLo posted BOTH of these photos to her Instagram account as well, which we all know is a hoe move. Love you, JLo, but I gotta call it like I see it.

All this combined has jealous girlfriends and the media suspect. It’s the kind of thing where you say to your girlfriends “I know I don’t have any proof, but I just know I’m right,” and men think you’re crazy, and women also think you’re crazy, but they understand.

But all of this feels a little familiar. Just a month or so ago, rumors were swirling about Drake and Taylor dating, and reps from both camps swore it was just musical collaborations as they’re doing now with Dra-Lo. And what did Drake do when the rumors were about “Draylor”? He posted this:

Is that velvet? 🌺

A photo posted by champagnepapi (@champagnepapi) on

THAT my friend is a fuckboy move. And one he’s repeating, as if we won’t notice, which makes it worse. Just dating everyone a little bit, no one completely, and using rumors to get everyone in a tizzy. It’s all too familiar, Champagne Papi. I’m onto you.

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Veronica Ruckh

Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at

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