Inside The Mind Of An Alpha Female

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Let me start by saying the first thing my father ever taught me was that second place is really just first loser. Seriously, it is. I’m proud to openly confess to the world that I will do whatever it takes to win.

Yeah, I was born with blue ribbons in my eyes. I used to throw away prizes, trophies, or any other signifiers that didn’t amount to number one. Now that I’m a grownup, I’ve realized some people assume that since I would cut off my arm to win, I’ve got other…manly qualities. Why can’t I want to be the best and also sleep with a unicorn stuffed animal?

Since the beginning of time, men were “supposed” to be competitive, alpha males. Women were “supposed” to be polite and tame and not concerned with who is the best. These are some of the silliest stereotypes that exist. I mean, did you even see the Winter Olympics? Some of those women are downright fierce.

There are pros and cons. Sure, I made a few enemies during Greek Week. (Sorry, girl I drunkenly intimidated and verbally absued while pursuing the V in an egg toss. I won, by the way.) I’m sure there are people I could never convince to compete in beer Olympics with me, for fear of a table flipping. BUT, there was also no one who studied harder than I did for the LSAT. I turned up my competitive side to serial killer status, complete with charts and everything. And guess what? I owned that shit. Being competitive has its ups and downs, and I’m willing to accept this as a blessing and a curse.

Sometimes being competitive is an issue, especially when it comes to dating. If ever I landed a boyfriend, I don’t think I could extinguish the burning desire to always win. I’m not above game board flipping, stomping out, or unplugging an Xbox if it looks like I won’t win. (Yes, I’m also a sore loser.) But if the roles were reversed and a man did all of those things, he could explain it with a quick “boys will be boys” quip. Since I go on a sore loser rampage with a bow in my hair, it is frowned upon.

It is ridiculous that women can’t let their competitive flags fly. Maybe there are women who are more brave than I am who do, but I am still hesitant. Women who share the need for number one will always intimidate men.

I tried to rally a mixed group for a Fantasy Football league last year, and one guy flat out said he would never, ever compete against me. Because I am a psycho. Well, that’s fine, and I can own up to it. I will confess to being ruthless and cutthroat over the simplest games of corn hole, but I won’t apologize for it. Should I politely accept defeat instead of throwing a royal fit? Probably, but I won’t.

I will always do whatever it takes to win and there shouldn’t be anything wrong with that. Hopefully other psycho competitive girls will never wave their white flag, because I sure won’t.

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BlingleWhiteFemale (@BlingleWhiteFem) is a single blonde female who spends her days campaigning for First Lady. She is a contributing writer for Total Sorority Move.

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