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I’m A Worse Person But A Better Me Since Getting A LuMee

LuMee

I used to be a plebe like you. Just a basic bitch who liked to take drunken selfies in an attempt to pass the time or vie for the attention of a certain someone, or of anyone, or of everyone. Like you, I felt a bit of shame taking selfies in public. It was obnoxious. It was vain. It was extra. But frankly, it was the real me. After meticulously spending no fewer than ninety minutes on my outer appearance as a means to disguise some underlying issues that my therapist and I are still working out, I wanted nothing more to be seen. Some people say they want to look good for themselves and that’s fine. But if I only wanted to look good for myself, I’d wear a tiara around the house more often. Hell, I might even wash my hair on days I had nothing to do.

But alas, society looks down upon the vain, so for a long time I fought it. For a long time, I took seventeen selfies in a row, only to look at the resulting photos and decide I hated every single thing about my face. I blamed it on “the lighting” but thought I was kidding myself until something changed my life.

My friends bought me a LuMee case for my birthday, and honestly I have never been the same. It took me some time before I got used to the idea of literally illuminating my vanity in public — to not only unabashedly take selfies in public, but to draw attention to the fact that I was such an embarrassment to society. But slowly, I began to realize it was worth it.

Exhibit A:

Before

After

Both photos are taken after a night out, no filter and also no eyelashes for some reason. The difference is astounding. At first, I was only comfortable taking selfies with my LuMee when I came home for a night, but eventually, I gave in. I put on a full face, I put in my fake hair, and I ventured out into the world, and if the boy I was trying to impress wasn’t there, physically, to see how fabulous I looked — nothing, not even terrible bar lighting was going to stop me.

And yes, I got looks. And yes, I may or may not be “what’s wrong with society.” And sure, vanity is one of the seven deadly sins, and I may perish in hell for this — but honestly, I was probably going to do that anyway. I feel like my real self now, and that is not worth giving up.

I’m not on my second LuMee — the first case was good for selfies, which was lovely. But the LuMee Duo? Provides high quality professional lighting for photos of you and for photos of the world (and/or photos you make someone else take of you, duh). I have made innocent bystanders take photos of me with a white light bright enough to blind a small child, and felt no shame at all. Plus it has a dim feature if you have #shame. Flash photography is the enemy. It gives you red eye and a shiny face. A LuMee makes it like it’s daytime and night. Trust.

You can purchase the LuMee or LuMee Duo case on Amazon.

TSM is a member of the Amazon Affiliate Program and may receive a commission on purchases.

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Veronica Ruckh

Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at veronica@grandex.co

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