If You Haven’t Seen Mariah Carey Throwing Shade, You Haven’t Lived

Never really been much of a Mariah Carey fan. I find her dog whistle note capability more annoying than impressive, and it looks like she’s doing the absolute most at all times. Plus her signature logo is a butterfly. Hi, the ’90s called. They’d like those back. The only time she’s even remotely relevant is every December when I can’t escape All I Want For Christmas Is You. Just not my cup of tea, and if we’re being honest, I think Ariana is a better vocalist and all around human being.

However, when I stumbled across the Vine page “Mariah Carey Shade“, I gained mad respect for Mimi. Over the years, she’s mastered those sassy, witty comebacks that you usually only hear out of the mean girl in a stereotypical teen movie. How has her genius biting wit been under wraps all along?! Why is she not participating in every single Roast on Comedy Central?! Forget singing, throwing shade is her true God given talent.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think I’d exactly want to spend an entire day being gal pals with her, but I certainly wouldn’t want to be on her bad side. Everything she says sounds like she needs to be condescendingly taking a sip after murmuring it under her breath, and that’s exactly the type of passive aggressive shade I can appreciate.

Image via Everett Collection /

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Rachel Page

Rachel enjoys spending her time thinking about Britney Spears, whining about being single, and thinking about Britney Spears. She doesn't take to criticism well, so be nice or so she will cry herself to sleep! Email:

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