I have a confession. Well, it’s not so much a confession because I think everyone who has ever met me already knows, but I’m a pretty shitty person. I invest way too much of my time obsessing over characters on reality TV, I’m honest to the point of rudeness, and worst of all, I’m a huge gossip. If Sally tells me that she’s kind of pissed at Suzie because she didn’t invite her to the dinner she had with Kasey and Shelby last week, I’m going to tell five of my closest friends why Sally hates Suzie. I can’t help it — I love drama. I can’t keep my mouth shut when someone tells me something, and is gossiping even that bad? Gossiping is just talking, right? That’s what I kept telling myself.
Recently I decided to make a change. I decided to stop gossiping for an entire week, just to see if I could do it. Here’s what went down in those seven long days.
Things started off great. I was determined to do this challenge right or not at all. I made it the entire day without gossiping about anyone at work (not even on Gchat) and made it home later that night feeling great about myself. When my roommate started talking to me about the drama in her life, I just listened quietly and said cliché things like, “don’t worry, I’m sure she didn’t mean it,” and “I’m sorry, that sucks.” I could tell she wanted me to agree with her or talk shit with her, but I had to stay strong, and I did. This is easy, just don’t have an opinion about things I naively thought to myself.
This was the first time I really struggled with trying to stay true to my no-gossiping rule. There was drama in the group text I have with five of my best friends. Two girls started arguing about one of the girls’ birthday plans and mass chaos erupted. Kelsey, the birthday girl, wanted to spend her 21st birthday at a winery and Lindsey thought that idea was stupid, which it is. The group text split up and I was thrown into a group text with Lindsey and our other friend, where I am fairly certain I was expected to wholeheartedly agree with Lindsey and talk shit about Kelsey.
I wanted to do it so bad. It’s idiotic to spend your 21st birthday at a winery when you should be spending it knocking it back shot after shot at every bar in our college town. Kelsey doesn’t even like wine! The only whine she likes is Franzia Sunset Blush which basically doesn’t even count. Don’t do it, don’t you dare do it, I thought to myself. What would a good person say right about now?
“I think we should do whatever Kelsey wants. It’s her birthday after all.”
I didn’t hear back from Lindsey after I sent that text. I was just trying to be nice but I think Lindsey thought I was on Kelsey’s side. The group text eventually came alive again, but of course, I couldn’t join in the conversation because they were talking about our mutual friend’s tragic haircut. Bangs were not a good choice, but I couldn’t say anything. Eventually, I think all my friends forgot I was even there.
I hadn’t gossiped in three days and somehow my life had gotten worse. If this is what being a good person is like, it blows.
My life at work was falling apart as well. Whenever you work in a group of four girls, there’s going to be gossiping. Especially if they’re sorority girls and especially if they’re all bitches (in the best way). Part of working in the TSM office is gossiping, but of course, not for me this week. Because of this asinine rule I stupidly imposed on myself, I couldn’t contribute to any conversation with my coworkers. I so badly wanted to talk shit about the Rita Ora, Rachel Roy, and even Beyoncé, but I couldn’t do it. I just had to sit there silently without an opinion. I think my boss even questioned my work ethic.
This day was the hardest of them all. My friends thought I was being a bitch because I was so quiet. I wanted to talk to my friends, but about what? What do you say to people if it’s not gossip? “Hey, how’s it going?” That’s stupid. I don’t care about their lives, I care about judging other peoples’ lives. What am I supposed to talk about? Politics? Hell no. Religion? Not going there, either. I had nothing to say to anyone about anything.
I went the entire day without speaking.
I made it. I went seven days without gossiping and my life is worse because of it. My friends hate me. I can’t hold a conversation. I texted my friends and they’re all mad at me for acting so weird this past week and they’ve been talking shit about me since day two. Somehow, that makes me feel better.
Now that the seven days are over, I can reflect upon this journey of self-discovery. TBH, it was awful. Am I going to keep this “good person” thing up? Fuck to the no. I jumped right back into that group chat with a screenshot of one our friend’s obviously Facetuned Instagram and my friends welcomed me back with open arms. I voiced my opinions on Kyie Jenner’s terrible new song and my boss gleamed at me with pride. I may be a bitch, but at least my friends are, too.
Gossip Girl. .
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