For those of you not in New Orleans right now, it sucks to be you. Luckily, I’ve taken the time between my fourth strawberry daiquiri and second po’ boy of the day to bring you an important live update from the scene. Mardi Gras is the festival of sorry-not-sorrys, never-say-nevers, and most importantly, YOLOs. But last night, some risky, yet amazingly successful Mardi Gras revelers took this last one to the extreme. And no, they didn’t live by it–they took it.
Just last night, the letters, L-O-Y-O were stolen from Loyola University in Uptown New Orleans. Officials say that the letters were chiseled away from their base, with the cracked pieces littered across the quad. All that was left standing were the lonely letters L and A.
I’m sorry, but chiseled away at the base? They literally took hardware tools and went to town. I can’t even make a grilled cheese drunk without almost burning down the house, and they practically (de)constructed Michelangelo’s David. These kids put me–and the rest of the serial composite stealers across America–to shame: “Oh, you stole a composite from your ex-boyfriend’s fraternity? Let me just show you the giant 50 pound YOLO letters I stole from a major university during Mardi Gras that are just chillin’ in my room right now.” Cool.
And take it from someone who drove right past this university yesterday; Loyola is on a busy street, so someone was bound to have seen them. New Orleans during Mardi Gras is a 24/7 deal. The police officials at Loyola are calling the school a “victim of Mardi Gras,” but this is basically a cover up for, “We were too busy trying to get a glimpse of boobs on Bourbon Street to actually do our jobs.”
Sure, the school might be the victim, but the vandals are the victors. You make Drake and America proud, and we’re drinking to you tonight.