Are you tired of watching other people post adorable selfies with their boyfriends, while you’re knee deep in a carton of ice cream and way too many Netflix shows? Are you frustrated with the fact that you have to touch your own genitals, instead of someone touching them for you? And are you ready to find someone who loves you, even in the morning, and even if you’re not wearing makeup? If you answered yes to any of these questions then you need some help. And you’re going to get it, thanks to our old friend, Science.
That’s right, M. Gary Neuman, an author, psychotherapist, and all-around brain has found what exactly makes people fall in love with each other. Yes, there’s hope. And yes, I’m about to give you the keys to locking a dick down.
1. Make Eye Contact
This is a big shocker. According to science people in love make eye contact with each other. A lot. 75 percent of the time, they’re just looking into their lover’s eyes and thinking about, well, how much they love them. Intimacy increases, and people feel like you actually give a shit about them. So put down your phone and look up. Your true love is just waiting to stare into your eyes, not your Tinder profile.
2. Listen To Him
Let me break this down for you. Guy says something. As he’s talking, you put down your phone. You make eye contact (see above), and you try to understand what he is saying. You don’t think about what you want to say next. You don’t look over his shoulder at your food coming in your direction. You don’t cut him off and you don’t respond with a half-hearted, “uh huh.” That’s what listening is. Not the bullshit where you stare at your phone and make fun of his fantasy football team when he wants to share with you how excited his is about a game (or play or whatever the hell it is). Ask questions. Show compassion. Stop making it about you. You’d be surprised how much it will get you. Like a relationship.
3. Validate Him
Everyone wants to feel like they’re awesome. It’s that simple. Be appreciative. Say thank you. Focus on the good things he does instead of the negative. No one is perfect. But by highlighting the positive instead of the negative, it’ll make him want to hold onto you. Easy.
4. Smile At Him.
This can be hard for girls with RBF. Grinning doesn’t come naturally. But smiling at him doesn’t mean that you have to pretend or put on a show. It means that you just relax. Laugh. The more you smile, really genuinely smile so that your nose crinkles and your eyes disappear, the more he thinks that he’s doing a good job and making you happy. Laugh so hard your stomach hurts, and play like you haven’t played in years. Remember the validation thing? It works in reverse. He wants to feel like he’s making you happy just as much as you’re making him happy.
5. Touch Him.
It’s the reason annoying couples are walking down the street hand-in-hand. It just feels great.
It seems simple. But is it? How often do you really, really listen to someone? Or appreciate someone? Or do something nice without expecting something in return or even look up from your phone during dinner? It’s a matter of being present, of being humble, and being there for him. Don’t believe me? Just watch.
See? Be sure to invite me to the wedding. I prefer an open bar..