Columns

How To Make Your Winter Wardrobe Work For Spring

Screen Shot 2014-04-15 at 11.54.20 AM

Spring is finally here! Time to kick off those snow boots, shrug off that parka, and shave your legs for the first time in, like, more than three months. Seriously, there’s so much hair on your legs, we thought you had a cat. But just because you’re back to your warm weather uniform of crop tops and colored jean shorts, it doesn’t mean you have to ignore your winter wardrobe. Those items totally work in the spring–you just have to think outside the box of wine.

Puffy Coat

All winter, you looked like you were headed on an Arctic expedition, but it was totally fine because that thing kept you warm on those long, cold walks from your apartment to the bar to the pizza place to the next bar then back to the pizza place and finally (to someone’s) home. Unfortunately, that warmth came at a price: space. You can’t keep that coat in your closet all spring because it will take up valuable real estate–where will you put your emergency wine? Keep your space (and your sanity) by taking your puffy coat from outerwear to inner peace and use it as the world’s most comfortable yoga mat. Bonus: if you fall asleep during yoga, you’re basically on a sleeping bag.

Fur Vest

This was your big investment piece, so you’re going to want to take care of it all year. Fur–even if it’s faux–requires a specific kind of maintenance, and honestly, respect. Which is why during the warmer seasons, your super chic vest should only be used for the most hilarious of pranks. Your roommate has a dog? Oh, that’s annoying. Walk into her room sobbing, hold the vest in your arms, and pretend the pooch ate your entire stash of PMS Peanut Butter Cups. Note: prank’s over when she starts actually crying. Or, you could show up at Sigma Chi’s annual backyard barbecue, and chuck it at some guy’s head while screaming, “Raccoon!” and then watch him scream like a little girl. Honestly, even if you only do one of these things, the vest has basically paid for itself.

Fleece Socks

Obviously you’re not going to pull these heavy duty mobile saunas onto your feet when it’s 80 degrees outside, but you can pull them onto your hands. Especially if you’re baking. They’ll work just as well as a pair of oven mitts, except that you’ll probably end up with third degree burns. But whatever, those cookies smell ah-mah-zing.

Dark Lipstick

Just wear it, Lorde.

Knit Hat

Since you’re not an out of work actor/waiter in Los Angeles, you cannot wear your hat when the weather is nice (unless you are involved in some kind of parody skit where you have to play the douchiest person on earth–or Gavin DeGraw–in which case, break it back out). You can, however, put it to good use in your home. Tape it to the corner of your bed frame or coffee table or whatever item of furniture you bump into while you’re stumbling around drunk at night. There’s still the fear that you might run into whatever naked stranger your roommate brought home, but at least no more shin bruises!

Boots

Since one of your New Year’s resolutions was to get outside more, you’re probably going to need your boots for hikes–especially since your hiking outfit currently consists of a pair of yoga shorts, a sports bra, and a pair of aviators. Offset the insanity exhibited by this ensemble by tossing on some heavy duty winter boots that will like totally anchor the whole look in reality. You’ll look just like Bear Grylls, but with boobs.

Gloves

Now that the sun is out, it’s time to take off the gloves. And fill them with candy. And hide them in your purse. And in your fridge. And in your medicine cabinet. And at the gym. And in your booty call’s nightstand. You’re welcome.

Email this to a friend

Alyssa and Alison

Alyssa Wolff and Alison Leiby are stand-up comics and writers. Follow them at AlyssaWolff and AlisonLeiby.

2 Comments You must log in to comment, or create an account
Show Comments

For More Photos and Videos

Latest podcasts

Download Our App

Take TSM with you. Get

New Stories

Load More