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How to Deal with the D-Word

For some reason unbeknownst to you, Greek life isn’t for everyone. You originally thought that was just a lie you told to pretend to sympathize with PNMs who were clearly going to get cut from all the best houses after the first round of recruitment. But it turns out that it’s actually true. There are just some girls who never seemed to want to make the effort once they joined a sorority. Most of the time I’d say these are legacies who didn’t belong anyway but there are other cases. Like girls with some ridiculous major who are overwhelmed by the time commitment (amateurs), or quite often they have some boyfriend they’d rather be fellating than spending time with fellow queen bees as a constant reminder of how fabulous we are. Needless to say, it doesn’t happen often, but the occasion does arise where sisters who were so blessed to get a bid to the best sorority the world has ever known do the unthinkable and DISAFFILIATE. For the most part you probably don’t notice her absence until about a month has gone by since she made so many excuses not to come to things anyway, and when you do realize your attitude is a combination of “how could anyone disaffil? I’m so obsessed!” and “whatever, fuck her. Good riddance.” But these feelings become dormant and overpowered by feelings of nothing but awkwardness when you run into her post-termination.

So what should you do?

The best option is to handle the situation gracefully. Take the high(ish) road. When you see her, you should greet her. Not with an obnoxious “OMG hey girl! I have so much to tell you! Pow-wow over Starbucks this week?” like you would with an affiliated sister you haven’t seen in awhile. She lost those privileges when she made the ultimate sacrifice and gave up her letters. Treat her the same as you would some geed you went to high school with:

“Hi. How are things? That’s great to hear. (Let her know she no longer matters.) I’m like…SO busy though. I’m about to meet up with Amanda and Ashley. (Casually remind her what she’s missing.) Maybe I’ll see you at…the Greek…oh, umm…Maybe I’ll see you around. (Your social life no longer exists.)”

Be on your way, and text your entire pledge class about how awkward you felt, and how terrible she looked.

What do you probably do?

You see her in the distance hand-in-hand with what’s-his-face, the only person she has left in her life. Pray for a minute that it’s not her or that she doesn’t see you while continuing to stare at her. As you get closer, you’re in a panic and realize you don’t have a game-plan. You can’t stop staring. Why? Oh shit, you’re at the distance where it’s appropriate to acknowledge one another. You continue to make awkward eye contact. You say nothing. You decide you really wish you had just been polite and start to lift your hand to smile and wave. You missed your opportunity, she’s already looked down because she feels like you’re judging her. You kind of were. Flip your hair with your elevated hand after the failed attempt at an unrequited salutation.

Be on your way and text your entire pledge class about how awkward you felt, and how terrible she looked.

What does drunk you do?

You see her out at a bar. You pounce on her the same way you would anyone else in your sorority. Proclaim how much you miss her (whether it’s true or not). Commence interrogation. She goes off on a tangent of bullshit excuses about why she would have made such a terrible decision. The cliché “It really just wasn’t for me” is likely to make an appearance. She asks if everyone hates her now. You tell her no way, but the truth is, you have no idea, she never comes up. She ends the conversation saying how she feels so uncomfortable every time she sees someone, which is almost every day, and how much she regrets her decision to leave, and she thinks about it all the time how much better things would have been if she stayed. DUH! You almost feel sorry for her, but whatever, she brought it on herself.

Be on your way, and text your entire pledge class about how awkward you felt, and how terrible she looked.

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Veronica Ruckh

Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at veronica@grandex.co

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