The day is here! Ring the bells! Sound the alarm! Blow the trumpets! Work, bitch! Today marks the first official Britney Day! If you’re in Vegas, you can spend this joyous holiday with the pop princess herself. For the rest of us peasants, we will just have to spend the day as Ms. Spears would want.
Before you start taking notes, you must get into the Britney Day spirit. Watch this video on repeat until you’ve convinced yourself you might actually be Britney Spears.
- Begin by nourishing your body with the essentials.
- Throw on your favorite crop top. Bonus points if you wear a baseball or trucker hat.
- Flip you hair behind your shoulder, swing open the door, and exclaim, “Work, bitch!” as you strut out of your house.
- When asked where all this newfound confidence you’re exuding came from, simply smack your gum–that’s important–and say, “Britney, bitch”.
- Actually, go ahead and sprinkle the word “bitch” into all parts of your everyday vocabulary.
- The world is your oyster, so try out as many occupations as you can–of course, all while looking sexy.
- Perhaps a waitress?
- Maybe even a flight attendant.
- Remember that today is Britney Day, and you don’t need a job. You’re so lucky, you’re a star.
- Try not to think about your ex. Oops…you might do it again.
- Your loneliness may kill you.
- However, remember the wise words of Ms. Spears: you’re stronger than yesterday, and suddenly, your loneliness won’t kill you anymore.
- Go to the club with your girls to celebrate this day by being one badass single lady.
- Request “I’m a Slave 4 U” from the DJ.
- It’s no surprise, all eyes will be on you in the center of the dance floor, just like a circus.
- After you dance the night away, be sure to avoid the womanizers.
- Go home, pull up your hair, and put on your best sweatsuit. A classic Britney look.
Is this the greatest day ever? Ooh yeah..