How To Become The Perfect Hybrid Of Basic And Boss Bitch — Emphasis On The Bitch

Basic And Boss Bitch

In this day and age, it’s becoming increasingly difficult to be considered “well-read.” Between the constant assignments from school, marathons upon marathons of Keeping Up With The Kardashians, Netflix binges, and your functional alcoholism, it’s really hard to get a good book in for leisure. Not to mention that while your iPhone is within reach, concentrating on a book can be boring. But “dumb” isn’t a cute look on anyone, so you need to find a compromise. You need to find books that are potentially more interesting than the weird comment war going on between that girl from your high school who ended up being a hairdresser and her boyfriend’s baby mama on Facebook.

Behold, the only reading list you really need to become the perfect hybrid of basic bitch who loves girly things and boss bitch who’s a learned reader:

Dirty Rush by Taylor Bell
Psychos by Babe Walker
Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates by Mike and Dave Stangle
Nice is Just a Place in France by The Betches
Younger by Pamela Redmond Satran
Has Anyone Seen My Pants? by Sarah Colonna
Manwhore by Kate Evans
Sweet Filthy Boy by Christina Lauren
He Texted by Lisa Winning

Seriously, these are all the best books in the “bitch” genre, and once you’ve read them all, you’ll have boys in the yard, with or without a milkshake (all of whom you’ll be bored with after two weeks).

I know, I know. Your money could be spent on better things than “reading,” which is why XOXO After Dark is trying to help you win a copy of each of these books. They’re even going to sweeten the deal and throw in a beach towel, a tote bag, and a pair of sunglasses, so you have something better to read than some trashy magazine about Bruce Jenner’s sex change — excuse me, alleged sex change — on the beach this summer.

All you have to do to win is click this link — this one, right here, in pink — and leave a comment on the bottom letting them know what your spring break essentials are. That’s it! And then you’re eligible to win the prize pack (photographed above). Sweepstakes end this Friday March 20 at 9:00 a.m. ET.

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Veronica Ruckh

Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at

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