Here’s The Secret To Figuring Out Your Boyfriend’s “Number”


Remember that time when you and your BF almost had the numbers talk? You were laying in bed, or (more realistically) eating your body weight in Chipotle, and you both felt *~tOtAlLY oPeN~* with each other. Maybe he brought it up, or maybe it was you (idiot), but one of you said something and the topic of “how many people have you slept with” was on the table.

But, because at least one of you had some common sense, you both decided to stop the conversation before it started.

Which is smart. Revealing your number of sexual partners is like revealing that you don’t like Beyoncé. It’s weird. It’s awkward, and once it’s out there, there’s no getting it back. So most of us avoid the conversation altogether and tell people that it’s “for the best” and “you don’t care about his past because you’re his future” or whatever.

But that hasn’t stopped you from picking up a second major in “My Boyfriend’s Sexual Past 101.” You’ve stalked his Facebook back to 2007. You’ve stalked his Myspace for the years before FB (yeah, remember Myspace? Most people didn’t delete theirs. Trust me, it’s worth a peek). You’ve scoured his old Instagram pictures and you made drunken conversations with his friends about his past an actual mission.

And now? Now you have a general idea who he’s done the dirty with. But thanks to the science-y people at Science Daily, we can add one more factor into our sick, twisted game of “did he or didn’t he hookup with that slutty girl from his English class three years ago.” They asked 60,058 heterosexual men and women about their sexual past and it. Is. Eyeopening.

According to the article, height and weight have A LOT to do with whether or not a guy is getting laid.

From Science Daily:

Very short men reported notably fewer median sex partners (5) than men of other heights (7). In terms of average number of partners, men who were average to extremely tall reported one to three more partners than men who were shorter than average.

Normal weight men and overweight men reported the most sex partners, and underweight men reported the least. Although it may be initially surprising that more overweight men reported the highest number of partners, it is important to note that the medical classification of overweight does not necessarily map onto social perceptions of overweight.

Overall, 58 percent of men reported having more than five partners, and 29 percent of men reported having more than 14 partners.

So basically, if he has a dad bod and is taller than the normal sorority girl, chances are he’s gotten laid quite a bit. Which is both a blessing and a curse. He knows his way around a vagina, but chances are you hate every other vagina he’s called home. But hey, at least you got him now. And thanks to all of your stalking I’m sure you’ve dug up some great blackmail photos from his old Myspace account.

Because at the end of the day, true love isn’t only being with one person forever. It’s being with someone who loves you no matter how many frat guys you’ve blown kissed and no matter how often you post horrible pictures of him from 9th grade on your Instagram.

[via Science Daily]

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Rachel Varina

(yeahokaywhat) Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable.

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