To be the honest, the last emoji update was not very impressive. It’s great that Apple finally included different race options, but where is the taco emoji? It’s 2015 and there still isn’t food emoji equality. Get your shit together, Apple.
The company responsible for introducing emojis into your life is getting ready to release another update with a whole slew of new emojis to add to the frequently used section of your keyboard, and they’re good. Really good.
Man In Tuxedo, AKA Formal Date
This update is all about adding a gender-matched pair to already existing emojis, so this guy is naturally the gender-matched pair to the bride emoji. Finally, the bride meets her groom! Of course, just because a guy is in a tux doesn’t mean he’s getting married. This emoji should really mean formal date, as well as groom. The phrase “dressed up to get messed up” exists for a reason, and now we finally have an emoji to represent it.
Pregnant Woman AKA Food Baby
Brace yourself, the annoying pregnancy announcements are coming, and now they’re going to include the use of this emoji. It’s cute and all, but hopefully the only time I’ll ever be using this emoji is to describe the massive food baby I grew from eating an entire Chipotle burrito in one sitting.
Shrug/Facepalm AKA The ‘I Fucked Up’ Emojis
This is the perfect emoji sequence for when your friends ask you “Why did you drink five tequila shots in an hour last night?” or “Did you drunk text your ex again?” or even “Why is there a bruise on your face/leg/ass?”
Drooling Face AKA Your Face When You See A Hot Guy
I really don’t know in what other instance you would need to use a drooling face, other than when you see a good-looking guy. I don’t know why they decided to include this emoji in the update, but I’m definitely glad they did. No more using the water droplets emoji as a response to a new shirtless Nick Jonas pic, because to be honest that one is a little gross.
Bonus: the drooling face could also be used to describe a guy who’s thirsty and won’t stop hitting you up at 2am even though you ignore him every time, or your face when you see food. Either works.
Nauseated Face AKA Hungover Face
This emoji perfectly describes how every person feels the morning after drinking. Sure, there are people out there who puke from actual sickness, but I feel confident in saying that more people puke from ingesting too much Fireball than food poisoning. If you don’t let it all out in the toilet, the next day you feel so shitty that you almost wish you had.
There’s more new emojis coming out in the update, including bacon, avocado, champagne, and even a black heart for all you soulless bitches out there. You can see the entire list here. The one thing missing from this almost perfect list is a taco emoji, which is especially fucked up because they said it was coming! The update doesn’t release until mid-2016, so Apple has until then to make this right, and they better make this right..
[via Marie Claire]
Images via Unicode