I love revenge. I love revenge movies, I love revenge plots, and I love revenge “likes” on social media. Posted a status about your car breaking down? Like. Tagged in an ugly picture? Like. Changed your status from “In a Relationship” to “Single?” Like like like. Still, when it comes down to it, I’m usually too scared to act on my revenge. That would call for confrontation, conversations, and worst of all, potential retaliation. So for me, one of the best things that’s emerged on the internet over the last year or so are companies that allow you to send things anonymously to your enemies. One company lets you send glitter, and another one lets you tell someone to literally “Eat a Bag of Dicks” by sending them gummy penises.
Honesty though, do either of those sound so bad? Sure, someone sends me glitter in the mail and I’ll likely find little sparkles around my house for the next year, but it will save me a few bucks at Michaels next time I need to stock up on my crafting supplies. As for the gummies – let’s be honest. I’ll eat any kind of candy someone wants to have delivered to my door. Besides, it wouldn’t be the first time I’ve had a dick in my mouth, so whatever. But I think I’ve finally found the thing I could get in the mail that would break my heart: a sad, lonely potato.
— Sara (@o__0sara) May 30, 2015
That’s right, you can now send someone a spud through the mail. A new service called Potato Parcel lets you send an actual potato to the target of your disdain. They will even inscribe it with a personalized message. What better way to tell your friend on the low-carb diet that you are tired of listening to her whining about how much she misses french fries than sending her the one thing she can’t eat?
A writer at Cosmo took it upon herself to test out the service, sending a potato with the message “You Know Why.” She reports that her potato took a month to arrive, and came beaten up in a plain envelope from Dallas, TX. But it had the desired affect. “It made me sad. Hours later, I am still sad.” You know what they say: Revenge is a dish best served with carbs, or something like that..