I’m just going to be honest with you. I know close to nothing about One Direction. I know they’re British, I know they wear really tight pants to suffocate their sperm and prevent reproduction (probably), and I know every English-speaking female threw a complete bitch fit when Zayn left. Despite all this, I would definitely commit some unspeakable acts to get the chance to bump uglies with that Harry fellow. He looks like the angsty lovechild of Zac Efron and Russell Brand, and his tattoos are sexy enough for me to successfully ignore the fact that he wears fedoras on a regular basis.
My man Harry took a pretty bad spill last night while performing in San Diego. It looks to me like he was so into his act that he forgot about the microphone stand he was holding, and was unexpectedly jerked backwards, losing his balance and falling flat on his adorable ass. It’s sort of like when you forget you have headphones in and try to walk away from your laptop. In other words, the most embarrassing and avoidable type of whiplash.
This is why I would never want to be famous. Normally when you fall, you brush yourself off and hope that everyone was too drunk to notice (or at least too polite to say anything). Harry’s fall was captured by hundreds of
adoring horny fans and promptly posted online for the rest of the world to see. Unsurprisingly, because this is the internet and literally no one is safe, people went fucking crazy with it.
— L & H (@jetaime_larry) July 10, 2015
— s (@dimpledlouve) July 10, 2015
— •° jasmine °• (@iCareForHarryS) July 10, 2015
— hola (@sassylouisaf_) July 10, 2015
— sha (@deletriustyles) July 10, 2015
Harry getting up from his tragic fall. pic.twitter.com/pC6hy022au
— Harry Styles. (@Harry_Styles_Be) July 10, 2015
Brush yourself off, Harry. .