Halloween Costumes That Desperately Need To Be Retired This Year

The time is quickly approaching and if you’re anything like me, you still have no idea what you are going to be for Halloween. There are some simple, go-to costumes that are easy, not creative at all, and relatively cheap. Regina George with the boobs cut out of your wife beater, a cat with some dumb little ears, both of which are fine and dandy, but there are a few costumes that have been so over done that they must be put away this year. You might not be the most creative at the party, but if you stay away from these costumes, you wont be the most basic. Which is all that matters.

Three Blind Mice

Three Blind Mice
I get it, you waited till the last minute to decide what you were going to be, and so did your two besties. Your whole closet is black, so you aren’t scrambling to find clothes to wear. You live in your black Ray Bans, and if the only thing you have to worry about is a cane and some mouse ears, your local Dollar General can hook you up. But just because it’s easy, doesn’t mean it ain’t cheesey. Over. Done. Let it go. No more three blind mice.


If you still don’t have a costume and you’re trying to be a loofa, you’re fucked. Literally the hardest thing to make, and the hardest thing to keep in tact throughout the night. If you don’t mind shedding pink tulle everywhere, be my guest. But I’ll tell you from experience, the mess you make isn’t worth the pain in the ass it is to glue a bunch of pink tulle to a body con dress.

Harley Quinn

Harley Quinn, a crazy badass chick. If you want to channel your inner crazy at let it be kind of okay to shine for the night, Harley Quinn is the way to go. But we’re trying to be ORIGINAL here people, and we’ve seen a billion Harley Quinn’s. If you want to be a crazy person for the night, just go as a hungover Sunday morning version of yourself. Or yourself when you’re trying not to go through your boyfriend’s phone. Both parallel the amount of crazy.

Bugs Bunny And Lola

Bugs and Lola
Halloween is the only occasion where you can put physical clothing on your boyfriend to let everyone in the bar know you two are together. Couples costumes are (kinda) fun, and when I first saw the Bugs Bunny and Lola couples costume, I won’t lie, I was a little jealous. But if I’ve seen it once, I’ve seen it 600 times since then. No more bunny ears and white tube socks.


Minions were a great costume in 2013. But now it’s 2017, and it’s time to hang them up. I know they’re cute and they don’t speak English, which is the ideal makeup of any suitor. But been there, done that. Enough with the Minions.


Screen Shot 2017-10-25 at 9.57.46 AM
For whatever reason, everyone and their mother has been obsessed with unicorns this year. But just because it was a fad this year does not mean you have to subject yourself to the basic-ness that we’ve had to endure.

This year, the polls in most overdone costume will be all the Wonder Women and aliens running around. I don’t know what you should be, but I know what you shouldn’t be, so I think my good deed for the day is done. You’re welcome.

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