Dick pics have gotten a really bad rap lately, and the reason behind that fact isn’t difficult to understand. There are few things more off-putting than opening a DM to a photo of a floppy, uncooked man sausage. A schlong is not something that can be viewed without mental preparation, which makes unsolicited dick pics especially problematic. Seeing one without warning is pretty much the same as being spontaneously dropped into a large body of water—you can swim just fine when you know what you’re diving in to, but being tossed in without warning will give you a real shock. Seeing a pork sword on a screen is more jarring than it is in real life. It’s still not exactly gentle on the eyes in real life, either, but a photo is intense because it’s unchanging. Looking at a dick pic for too long is like looking at the sun. After a moment or two your retinas start to burn away and you’re left with nothing but a dark image in your head that won’t go away no matter how hard you try.
There are times, though, that a dick pic can be something more than an unwelcome visual intrusion. There are times, even, when getting a dick pic can actually be really sexy.
The first requirement for this phenomenon to occur is that the picture in question be solicited. She doesn’t need to say “hey send me a picture of your penis, please” in so many words, but she should definitely know it’s coming, pun intended. That fact alone will take the shock factor out of the equation. I once got a dick pic from a guy when we were in the middle of one of the hottest sexting experiences of my life. If I could recreate the event I definitely would. I don’t know exactly what helped orchestrate the magic that happened that night, but the dick pic I received actually helped. I was already turned on before I received it, which is the first step to dick pic success. When a girl is already imagining events involving your one-eyed monster, getting a photo of that anaconda can actually be pretty hot. It’s a little dirty, and a little wrong, and if you have the capability to turn a girl on over text message then you’ve won the right to send her a picture of your schlong.
The reason that the dick pic worked for me was because the guy was able to back it up with words. No girl is going to receive a dick pic well when the only sentences that you texted her before that were “hey, you up?” and “I’m horny lol.” Why a guy think that announcing his desire for sex in that manner is acceptable or attractive is completely beyond me. You, a red-blooded American male in the prime of your life, are horny? Wow. You could knock me over with a feather at that news.
Before sending the dick pic, he made me want the dick in the first place. That’s the secret. I was hot and bothered by the time he got around to snapping photos of his man parts. He teased me beforehand in our texts, telling me what he wanted to do to my body in explicit and very clear language and dear God it was amazing. The focus was all on me and how hot I was, and somehow that focus made me think about how hot he was. It was like reverse dick pic psychology. He made me want it first. It’s not exactly easy, but trust me on this– when it’s good, it’s really fucking good..