Get Yourself A Guy Bestie


Anyone who has ever said that guys and girls can’t be friends has clearly never had a one-of-a-kind relationship with a guy like I have. That, or they’ve seen When Harry Met Sally a few too many times. I’m talking your about a true blue, ride or die male friend. A friendship that is completely platonic. A no strings attached male best friend.

This is the guy whose bed you can crawl into after a drunken Saturday night, wake up as little spoon, and know that there’s nothing to worry about. Because neither of you think of each other that way. Sure, you’ve had plenty of opportunities to hook up, but if you did it, it would just be weird because you already know what the other person looks like naked. Chances are you have also both seen each other vomit, and that’s just not attractive on anyone. No, this is a relationship based on affection, respect, and a mutual love of cheap booze.

But what makes your guy bestie different from all the other bar prowlers out there sporting a Y-chromosome? For one, he will rarely buy you drinks. Not unless it’s your birthday, or you got a promotion, or you bought one for him earlier. Drinks are not hook-up currency. They are simply a method for the two of you to reach your maximum fun potential and then kick each other’s asses at cornhole. And if you’re going out, just the two of you, don’t expect him to shave his facial hair – he can’t be bothered to make himself presentable. But the feeling’s mutual. After all, did you really bother shaving your legs?

Not many people really understand your relationship. Every time you tell your girlfriends who you are hanging out with, you get the raised eyebrows and the long “so, are you guys together, or…” trail off. But you can’t really blame them. The two of you confuse everyone. Because how can two people have so much fun together without the standard sexual tension that accompanies your everyday male-female relationship? And honestly, you don’t really know what makes it work yourself. But he puts up with your ugly drunk crying, and you help him decode emoji texts so it all works out for everyone.

And the best part about your guy bestie? You can count on him for anything. Whether it’s a ride, an afternoon of video games and silence, or a friend at 2 a.m. when you’re given the boot from your ex’s, he always has your back. The kid would fight off a bear for you, and probably has the last time that you got blackout. So here’s to all the guy besties out there, picking up the pieces and lending out the baggy t-shirts that get us through our post-drinking laundry days. Next one is on us.

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Last seen paying homage to a bottle of Peach Andre and dancing to Ke$ha

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