For Cool Kids In High School, It Doesn’t Get better

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As Kanye West likes to sneak onto stages at award shows and sing, let’s hear it for the douchebags. Everyone knows one, or maybe is one: the kid who peaked in high school. The guy who still wears his Letterman jacket around your hometown, scamming underage hotties at 7-11. The girl who spent a little bit too much time underneath the bleachers and wound up at prom with a corsage, an updo, and a fetus that half belonged to Richie James. The jock, the smoker, the drummer, the artist, the cheerleader, we all know at least one who rose to the top of the social pyramid in a world of homerooms and pep rallies, and then came loudly and instantly crashing down the moment that graduation stage was crossed. Maybe it’s karma, maybe it’s fate, maybe it’s just really shitty luck, but for a few of our classmates, after high school, it really doesn’t get better.

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Catie Warren

From Rush To Rehab (@catie__warren) is a semi-fuctioning adult who has been celebrating her 21st birthday for the past three years. She attended college in the nation’s capital and to this day is angry that Pit Bull lied to her, as you cannot, in fact, party on The White House lawn. Prior to her success with TSM, Rehab was most famous for being featured in her hometown newspaper regarding her 5th grade Science Fair Project for which she did not place. In her spare time, she enjoys attributing famous historical quotes to Marilyn Monroe and getting in fights with thirteen year olds on twitter. Email:

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