As women, it’s so easy to get sucked into believing that it’s YOU who’s not good enough. The world around us unintentionally teaches us from a young age that we must fall victim to the pressure to be perfect. We are encouraged to lose more weight, wear more makeup, dye our hair one more time, and give just one more blow job. There’s nothing wrong with doing any of these things if your sole intention is to improve yourself for you alone. That being said, we often seek to find and fix the “flaws” in ourselves only in attempt to appease the wants and expectations of others (specifically guys). We get caught up in the mentality of “it’s not you it’s me” and actually take this lame, outdated cliché to heart. I have a newsflash for you sweetheart. It’s time to wake up and realize that it’s actually not you, it’s him. These “flaws” you’re looking to find in yourself don’t exist, they are only products of his imagination. It’s time to stop blaming yourself for his inability to fit the role of Prince Charming. Although there is probably a laundry list of reasons why you need to drop his ass, here’s a list of the top five reasons why you should stop putting up with his bullshit because you’re ultimately just out of his league.
1. All of his friends and family love you.
Obviously, this is necessary in a healthy relationship, but the red flag arises when this quality isn’t a two way street. In a healthy relationship your friends and family love him and his friends and family love you. That’s the way it’s supposed to be. If everyone surrounding him adores you but everyone in your crew thinks he’s a piece of shit this should be a MAJOR flashing neon warning sign. It’s so easy to be blind to his asshole behavior just because he has
a nice dick straight teeth and an easy smile, but your friends and family will not be so easily fooled. They can see through his bullshit better than you can, so listen to them dammit. If his friends and family see you as a total catch and your friends and family would rather you date Jared the Subway rapist than him, you’re probably out of his league.
2. You have a lot more social media friends/followers than he does
I know what you’re thinking. At first glance, this sounds shallow as fuck, but bare with me. If you bought your followers then this obviously doesn’t apply to you, but if the people who you interact with on social media are in fact “real life” friends then this actually means something. Unless you are Kim Kardashian or something, chances are the people who friend you and/or follow you on social media actually like you. They want to see what you’re up to, check in to see whats up, and consider you (at the very least) a decent enough human being to tolerate your excessive number of drunken Facebook “check-ins” and overly filtered Instagram selfies. If you have tons of followers and likes on all your posts, by deductive reasoning, its reasonable to assume people actually like you. If you’re racking 200 likes on a picture of a fucking tree with an inspirational caption and he can’t even hit the standard eleven like expectation on a good photo of himself, it’s probably safe to assume he’s not very well “liked” in real life either. You’re out of his league.
3. He’s not involved whatsoever
I can totally respect anyone who makes the decision to dedicate their entire college experience to focusing purely on schoolwork. Although this person is presumably so lame they could probably bore my 87-year-old “History of Classical Music” professor to death, it’s still admirable that they would be willing to lock themselves up in the library at 1 a.m. on a Saturday while the other 49,999 people at your university are out partying. That being said, “studious Steve” is the one exception to this rule. If you are a member of a sorority, hold an officer position, play intramural sports, are involved in numerous other clubs and organizations, and work two jobs, and you (soon to be ex) man crush spends the majority of his time in his garage by himself fixing old motorcycles or something weird and antisocial like that, maybe it’s time to think twice about your relationship. If you are a social butterfly and he lives under a rock, chances are, you can find a guy that is a little bit more “on your level.”
4. He can’t fully commit to you.
Fully committing to someone can only be accomplished by gaining each other’s trust. Gaining each other’s trust takes time. You probably shouldn’t kick a guy to the curb just because he doesn’t get down on one knee a week after matching with you on Tinder. That being said, if you’ve been talking to (read: hooking up with) a guy for four months or more and he refuses to acknowledge your request to be exclusive, get rid of him. Having the ability to commit to someone is a sign of maturity and if he has his mind set on banging the shot girl at the local club, then your brain capacity is clearly greater than his. If he’s not smart enough to see you, this total babe, that’s sitting right in front of him, he’s clearly not smart enough to eventually land a job that will fund your Kate Spade addiction and fulfill your dreams of living in an ocean front mansion. You deserve someone with a high enough IQ to recognize your absolute perfection when they see it.
5. He’s not hot.
Once again, this might seem shallow at first glance but bare with me. It is totally possible for a guy to compensate with personality for low-key lacking in the looks department. However, if your friends are constantly telling you he’s a 6 out of 10 at best AND that he’s an asshole, drop him. Chances are you’re at least a 12 out of 10 and killing it in the personality department as well. Don’t let him bring you down because he’s insecure about himself. There is never an acceptable reason for him to compare you to other girls or let his eyes wander when he’s out on a date with you. Any guy would be lucky to have you, so when he makes you feel otherwise, it’s nothing more than a ploy to trick you into believing you’re lucky to have him. By making you feel insecure in comparison to other girls he is only desperately trying to feel better about himself by feeding on your vulnerability.
Now it’s time to step back and reflect. If they guy you’re currently picturing in your head matches any of these signs it’s time to give him a little reality check and finally let him know “it’s not me, it’s you.” Unless of course he’s an absolute sex God (because in that circumstance you may need to step back and reevaluate) don’t be afraid to kiss him boo-bye because you are completely and entirely out of his league..