Fail Friday: The Unfabulous Life

Getting complimented on your facebook creeping skills. TSM.

“You’re like….eerily good at extracting random information about strangers.” Not a compliment.

Walked into an elementary school to pick up my little brother without wearing underwear because the after school care provider is hot. TSTC.

Of all the things that are wrong with this, I’d like to draw attention to the fact that you were trying to impress some pimply high school junior who makes $14 a day.

Threw bleach on my GDI roommate’s off-brand clothes. Not like it was worth anything anyways. TSM.

Destruction of someone’s personal belongings is normally wrong but you were practically doing her a favor.

Driving a car to dinner. NS. Driving a boat to dinner. TSM.

Ummm…you’re a girl. Who let you drive?

Monitoring, not only our new members, but all our girls’ diets with public weekly weigh-ins, and girls who gained weight are announced and put on social probation until they lose it. TSM.

Oh, well as long as you do it to everyone, it’s not hazing. It’s just the traumatizing, superficial, life-ruining version of weight watchers.

If you can’t afford to be in a sorority get a job like I did my senior year of high school, and of course it was at subway making sandwiches! TSM

Any job that requires you to wear a polyester uniform is not a job you should brag about.

Convincing my little to abort her pregnancy in order to stay in the chapter. TSM

“Don’t you think the G.I. Joe and Army Ho mixer with a top tier house is a little bit more important than this potential life forming inside you? Plus, standards will have a field day when they find out about this. You know what you have to do…”

When that dumb bitch goes to the hospital for alcohol poisoning during your philanthropy. TSM.

If only she’d drunk in excess before volunteer hours instead of philanthropy hours and it would have saved someone a trip.

They say we are not allowed to drink in our letters, but the only time I drink is in my letters. TSM

Either your wardrobe sucks, or your social life does. And don’t wear letters if you can’t respect them.

My fratdaddy bought me Lilly kneepads because I’m a hard worker. TSM.

See, with hard work and determination, you really can get whatever you want.

Thought it was just an average, boring recruitment video…then they hit me with a rap at 3:42

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